Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group

This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.

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dreamergrl29 10/05/2011

I'm wondering whether there are norms in terms of lesbian dating. For example, if I were to ask a woman out, would I then pay? On a heterosexual date, I think that a guy might hold the door for a girl and pay for her. Are there things like this that are comewhat consistent in lesbian dating?

I am asking for both my personal interest, lack of relationship saviness, and also for an assignment in my Human Sexuality class. I've never really dated myself (although I am a lesbian--I'm not "curious") so I am looking for some help in this area.

Thank you.

deleted_user 10/05/2011

Well I make more. Than my gf. Initially it felt weird for me to pay because I was divorced and was a woman, but she is also a woman! So initially it was whomever asked out the other. Or we traded. Now after 3 yrs.... just who ever isn't broke!
Robin

deleted_user 10/05/2011

Sorry I forgot to mention this part. I am a mother, tend to be more maturnal and nurturing. Both of my gf's tend to be more protective and do the more "male role".now I am very handy and love power tools but my gf opens my doors. She does the heavy work, kills the bugs...etc. but I think it depends on the role you and ur mate feel comfortable with.
robin

MsTeriLyn 10/05/2011

IMO, I think if 'You' ask a woman 'Out'.. you are the payee. You initiated the invite, right? So.. you would be the person (to me, being male or female here means nothing) who asked her out and should pay.

IMO, 'Dating' is just getting to know someone. It doesn't mean 'relationship'. After a reasonable amount of courtship transpires and if/a couple decides to date exclusively,..the question about who pays may be a valid discussion. But, only 'then'.

Any woman who is aware of her new love, who has become involved in her life and financial situation and wants to pursue a real, committed relationship will automatically take into account the financial burden of her new 'possible' mate.

This is 'my view' ~ so I would suggest bringing this up 'directly' and only when you are interested in becoming more than 'a date'. This isn't just a heterosexual situation in life anymore *wink.

ajr5679 10/05/2011

i don`t mind paying for the first date or if i asked her out, but i was dating someone over the summer and it was me always paying for everything even her pop, smoke,and beer. it got to the point that i just think that some girls feel that you should pay for everything and i don`t feel that is right.she just used me and my credit card. but dam she was hot :)

deleted_user 10/08/2011

I agree with Ms TeriLynn... if you are casually dating, and you are the one who initiated the date, then it's your dime. If your incomes are vastly different, and things become more regular or more serious, then the Talk should happen. Also, some of us Boi's or butches play a more masculine traditional role, and tend to pay, open doors, make decisions, etc in relationships. Butches more than Boi's though, in my experience.
Good luck, and happy dating!

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