Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.
I have been married to my wife for 16 months and together for 3 years. We just purchased our first home and have been trying to conceive for 13 months. About a month ago i felt that she was hiding something and confronted her. She admitted that she had feelings for a female coworker, that they had kissed and that she wants to continue seeing her. She also said that if I dont agree to an open marriage that she wants to separate.
I had no idea she was unhappy in the marriage. In my eyes we had a healthy relationship and sex life (1-4x a week) but she said that isnt enough for her and shes bored in our day to day life.
Ive researched open marriages and I am really not interested but tried talking it out with her. she says she loves me, wants to have kids with me and doesnt want to lose me. But I am falling apart. We are still being intimate and when we dont talk about the affair everything is normal . I moved out temporarily but she begged me to come back and said she misses me. I told her that i want a closed marriage and that we need to work on our relationship, not focusing on outsiders. This morning she told me she is spending the night with the OW on Saturday and I am at a loss. When it comes up I fall apart. I dont want to lose her or our life together. What can I do to stop this?
I'm sorry to hear of your situation. It is never easy to learn that your partner is interested in someone else. My wife and I have been married 4 yrs together 7. We have been ttc off and on since 2013 (fertility issues). Recently we decided to befriend another woman for the purpose of friendship and occasional intimacy. This was something we spoke about for a cpl years and we chose someone we felt fit the mold of what we were looking for. Turns out that while it was fun for a cpl weeks, it was short lived. This woman wanted a polyamourous relationship and while we gave it some thought, after researching and discussing it we optes not to be a part of it. I have to admit that while she was there for us both, there were times where I obsessed over how much attention my wife paid her or vice versa. Looking back, the only regret I have is moving to a physical realm too fast. With this said, I am not suggesting you consider this, I brought it up to say that if you are considering remaining together it is important that you think things thru. Consider all angles of the equation and weigh your pros and cons. If you stay what will you be able to accept as far as your wife's behavior? Will you set boundaries for the potential open relationship? Will staying in the relationship mean a loss of self for you or be an emotional or mental hardship? Are you willing to continue your plans of bearing children with one another? Can you turn the other cheek?