Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.
Hi guys, I feel pretty shallow for even putting this out here. I have been with this wonderful woman for the past 1 year, we have had our ups and downs. From the beginning of the relationship to the present I was never attracted to my partner physically and I feel damn shallow for saying this. However I do love her very very much, she has many other qualities that I am attracted to.
As I am not physically attracted to her it has become somewhat obvious that I am reluctant to have sex with her. She and I have talked about this many times and I have told her I am more then happy to pleasure her for her sexual needs. Another thing to note is I have a low sex drive or rather no sex drive. I have wrestled and suppressed these thoughts of not finding her physically attractive since the start of this relationship and 2 weeks ago I finally couldn't contain the truth anymore and told her. Of course that didn't end well. See the thing is I really do love her for her personality and character. She is everything I seek for in a life partner, its just that she isn't physically attractive to me.
Since then every conversation with her has somehow revolved around me being this nasty person I can understand her hurt and its not something I would wish upon anyone. I certainly prayed and hope that i didn't have to feel this way but I wish there was something I could do to fix it. I keep telling her the reasons why I love her and want to stay with her but i know the damage is done. She now feels very insecure about the way she looks. And she only wishes to see me on days that she feels she is attractive. Here is the caveat, she has always always tried to get me to compliment her about her looks and she has always claimed that her exes thought she was a hot girl. Truthfully she is average looking and slightly overweight. Also due to some complications in her life, she is often too busy to dress up. I am not asking for much, just comb her hair and lip gloss and eyeliner. Even then most days I don't really pay much attention to what she is wearing.
Right now she is too angry for any of my words to get to her and I cannot take back what I have already said. I am deeply regretful and I feel extremely shallow for thinking the way I do but I cannot help it. Help.
