Well you can just mess it all up like i did and tell all, or you can keep some things private... like i was saying in another thread... I wish i would've kept it private from some people... i equated it to going to do my business in the bathroom.. i don't fling open the door for everyone to know my business.. somethings are better left private... just my opinion though... that and a nickel will by you nothing today ;)

people just kinda figured it out with me, but I did say eventually that I love Chris and want to be with her forever. I didn't say I was "gay" just who I loved and they got the rest.

I'd tell the gay brother first and let him help you through it.

Okay, I was 37 going through a divorce, and I fell in love with a woman. Everyone knew me as "straight". Don\'t sweat it. You aren\'t the first one, nor will you be the last. Coming out late is so common that there are groups for it.

I just told people that Beasty was my partner, and that I loved her. I didn\'t explain that I was gay, or lesbian, or whatever. Most people weren\'t surprised in the least. You don\'t have to make it a big conversation. Eventually, after talking about your partner all the time, people will just start figuring it out.

It\'s a big adjustment in your life, focus on you first. Enjoy the beauty that is dating another woman. Unless you feel like shouting it from the roof-tops and telling everyone right away, just take it easy.

I agree though, tell your brother first. He\'ll have some sage advice, and be there to stand up for you.

Just remember, if you are comfortable with it, and treat it as normal, people will just relax and take it as it is.

Message me at any time.

I\'m not sure why, but the whole equating being gay as doing your business in the bathroom... erked me. It took ALOT for me to come out, and I lost ALOT due to it. But that makes me all the more proud to be able to stand as a lesbian woman and live my life that way.

Stef,

If this is something you truly want to do, loving her is not wrong, it also doesn\'t mean that you don\'t like men. That is something you will have to do ALOT of soul searching on. I\'d take it one day at a time. If you and this woman choose to spend your lives together, than it becomes a little different as I believe honesty with everyone is key.

I came out fully to everyone, family, friends, church, etc. (well someone at church found some things out and confronted me on it, but I wouldn\'t back down. I wouldn\'t repent, etc... long story) I have denied who I am for TOOOOOOOOOOOOO long. Now is my time to be ME no matter what old man joe or christian sally think.

I wish you the best of luck!

My, my, but you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to tell all. This seems pre-mature to me, as you haven\'t indicated if the woman you fell in love with is gay or not. If you are both aware of your true feelings, I\'d let them grow before diving into telling all. Sometimes it is best to let time and experience guide you in coming out. I am 67 years old and came out, partially, 30 years ago. I am still not out to my sister and probably never will. My best advice is don\'t pressure yourself on this issue until you are ready on all levels. Food for thought! Meanwhile, do enjoy your loving state.

Congratulations. Finding Love is hard, no matter what your sexuality. Long story short..I always knew I loved women,but was terrified to be viewed as "different" and all the judging that happens to anyone who is not "NORMAL" ?(whatever that is) I finally was overwhelmed by my feelings for a woman at age 25. We were together for 7 years. We just lived our lives and told the people who we knew could handle it, and the one's who were more conservative minded just put 2 and 2 together on their own. Just be in love and let things happen in their own time. Aloha- Bonzai

First things first. Enjoy your happiness with your new love. You don't always have to include your family. When you do start to include your family, choose the one's who are closest and love you and will love you no matter what. Coming out is not required with your first female relationship, if you choose to do, be selective.

Lucky you, falling in love!! So how does this other woman feel about it? Is she open? Does it matter either way as to whether you fling the door open or just a crack at a time. With my first girlfriend, people couldn't help but know she was gay (very butch), and knew I was in love with her. You could just tell. I was pretty ignorant, thinking nobody knew. I eventually told my parents after we lived together for six months. That was 29 years ago. Now, all my friends and family know when I meet someone and they know it will be a woman. I would start with the gay brother and ask him for advise. You might be judged at first, but the love your friends and family will show through. My friends were shocked at first, but when they realized that I was still the same person, but happy, they were happy for me. Take it slow. You will know when the time is right.