Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group

This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.

1,315 Members
4,919 Posts
0 Online
Lesbian & Gay
/ Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group

Homophobia...how to handle it?

charlize111
charlize111
I am not out. Recently, a friend called me up and suggested we get a beer together and that sounded okay. So I meet him and we walked into this simple tavern with a western theme, and ordered a pitcher. The bartender was really tall and slim, very attractive. She chit-chatted with us a bit and we had a good time. On the way home, he says, "you know, she was wearing a gay pride belt buckle."
"What?" I asked.
"Yeah, she is gay."
"Wow, I didn't even notice it," I said, which I didn't.
"You know, I don't mind if she is gay, but I get really pi$$ed when they throw it up in my face like that."

I just stood there, stunned. I asked him if Christians pi$$ him off if they have he fish symbol on their car, or jews if they wear the Star of David or football fans if they wear team jerseys.

I am just wondering how others would have handled this.
seemad
seemad
believe it or not, it's very common to hear that, some of us keep our mouth shut and don't say anything but others just openly say it...I "used" to have a friend who knew i was gay (but I was not out then) and her brother was openly gay...but she told me that its not right and she doesn't like it, but she cared about her brother so she was tolerating it..so when I came out, she stopped talking to me..she was basically judging me for who I was and she didn't approve of my sexual orientation...I think sometimes people like her are an eye opener...I don't have her in my circle anymore.
Sometimes even straight people support the LGBT community by wearing bracelets or anything else to show their solidarity...people who react like your friend did knows too little and is very much in a box that's which says yes this is right and yes this is wrong..
charlize111
charlize111
A friend here, wrote to me about this, saying it was a hurtful thing, what he said. I hadn't really thought about it that way, I guess, at the time. But it is true. That emotion is part of it all. I was hurt by it, and frustrated. I can not understand how someone can feel as he does. I wondered to myself, thinking about this, if there is an anti-gay gene in some people. Leviticus always seemed so very weird to me. But to expect others to keep hidden who they are, so that you can be kept in your comfort zone, I mean, how egotistical is that? I want to reach him. I don't know, is it possible, if someone begins with the ability to feel and say such a thing?
seemad
seemad
its a 50-50 chance...if this person is really a friend then yes they will understand and if not u know whats the truth...it's hard to change belief when one doesn't want to change per se...we can go on and on about what is just and right but if the other person is hell bent on not satisfied with that it's like hitting ure head against the wall...so before that ask yourself is it worth it? and if u have even an ounce of belief and confidence then yes go for it...it's always liberating to say your peace...