Hi there.........I'm new to this site but happened to come across an old feed from this site when I googled "sexless lesbian relationship" and decided to join as I am feeling extremely lost in how to deal with this same matter that is spoken about here. 

My partner and I have been in a relationship for 4 years and we have needed to overcome some major issues but after all these battles, we have managed to stay together and grow through all the experiences. We finally have found a house together and moved away from all the dramas we previously had and after a 6 month spell of long distance (due to work), I am facing this terrifying issue of a sexless relationship that not even distance cured. 

I have gone through all the thoughts of "sex is not important", "sex is not the be all end all", "I'm being too selfish" blah blah blah but at the end of the day, I miss her touch, her kisses that was filled with so much passion and desire, I miss her skin upon my skin, I miss her desire to be closer to me, the sharing of an experience that was only had between us two. 

I cry alot...........most nights and every time I think of those times. I wake up sometimes at 2 sometimes 3 in the morning and watch her sleep only to become puzzled and confused as to why she doesn't want me that way, why she doesn't want us to be that close, why she doesn't want to continue sharing these magical moments together. I miss her so so much and it is eating me up inside.........how do I live with this? How do I live without it? 

I use to be a very confident, self assured, sociable and a positive person but of recent, I have realized that I am no longer this. Sometime over the last few months I have become full of self doubt, sad, lonely, introverted and just existing. I have an overwhelming feeling of being undesirable and unattractive so much so that I have moments where I just don't want to go anywhere and sometimes when I do, I will sit back in the corner somewhere so not to draw attention to myself. I am so insecure now and I was never like this ever!

My partner doesn't seem to notice or maybe she just doesn't care anymore. I've tried talking to her about it but we always end up in a horrific argument ending with a whole bunch of promises that never amount to anything. I love her and despite my reservations, I know she loves me too but this is hard........real hard!! 

I've thought about leaving but I can't bring myself to do that. I've thought about asking for an open relationship or having an affair but whats the point? At the end of the day its not that I want to have sex or intimacy with just anyone, I just want sex and intimacy with the love of my life.......my girlfriend. 

My search for answers on this matter has only led me to more despair and hopelessness. Every thread and forum that speaks about this issue has all ended in the same result...............end of a relationship. My choices are: 1) leave the love of my life OR 2) rot away in this sexless relationship..........either is devastating. 

I'm not even sure why I'm posting now because there is obviously no hope..................and all I keep thinking is: "I don't want to die having never shared another intimate moment with her again"! Sadly, this may just someday be the case :(

Is there anybody out there that has gotten through this with their partner who is disinterested in sex or intimacy? If so, what did you/they do to get through this? Please help........I'm willing to give anything a go!!