Ive felt that way..and i think sometimes I am the ond who feel self conscious. But I also believe sometimes its them. All I can figure is they are not sure whst to talk to me about anymore...if i cant compare notes on husbands, kids or grandkids. Ofcourse the other dilemma is some of them start thinking their bi and start flirting w me. I get tired of straight women trying to figure out their sexuality with me. The older i get...my closest friends will always be my lesbian community ive had for years.

I think the problem is that they start assuming you're into them, or checking them out. And they probably don't even realize they're doing it....you're a woman, she's a woman, you're into women, therefore you MUST be attracted to her. It's....tiresome.

And yes, the ones who also think that it's suddenly okay to start leading you on....nothing about that is cool. Unless they specifically state that they're genuinely bi-curious or something- where lines are already drawn before anything can happen- then it can just come across as unintentionally cruel. Having dealt with this kind of thing throughout most of my teenage career, it can be pretty annoying. Even as an adult, you run into it. Just not as often. So no worries, you're not alone in this. In my opinion, this is actually a pretty common occurrence in the lgbt community, particularly with lesbians.

Thanks guys. I think it's mostly in my head and I'm just self conscious but you're probably right and they do assume that I'm into them. In high school it was a lot worse but now that I'm 21 and have outgrown a lot of my HS friends I don't encounter these problems as much.

I know what you mean when i tell people i'm a lesbian they have this expression and all i can describe it as is standoff-ish, i just surrounded myself with people in this community but you'll always get that standoff-ishness because most people think that lesbians don't have a type most people but not all just think we only care about womens bodies and not their personalities