Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.
I have been (and still am to a large degree) shy, and in a way of keeping myself from becoming incredibly lonely have watched a lot of movies and tv shows, and have done a lot of daydreaming. Not suprisingly, my expectations of relationships comes from what I see on film. I utilize characters from the screen that I find attractive and mold them a bit to become my "perfect" partner.
Now that I do want to find someone (if possible), I am scared that this ideal image that I have will set me up for dissapointment. What can I do? How can I not compare?
Also, the characters that I am attracted are usually--and I know this is really weird and probably crazy--"evil." I have had major crushes on the women who are the protagonists, the beautiful older nemesis, or femal psychopath. And in my mind, they keep the traits that make them manipulative, controling, and passionate (if you know what I mean). Am I insane? And does this mean that this is the type of person I am actually attracted to? Whenever I see a beautiful woman, I sort of add this personality to them in my mind. Does anyone else do this? I'm kind of freaked about this one--especially since I've done it almost all my life.
Now that I do want to find someone (if possible), I am scared that this ideal image that I have will set me up for dissapointment. What can I do? How can I not compare?
Also, the characters that I am attracted are usually--and I know this is really weird and probably crazy--"evil." I have had major crushes on the women who are the protagonists, the beautiful older nemesis, or femal psychopath. And in my mind, they keep the traits that make them manipulative, controling, and passionate (if you know what I mean). Am I insane? And does this mean that this is the type of person I am actually attracted to? Whenever I see a beautiful woman, I sort of add this personality to them in my mind. Does anyone else do this? I'm kind of freaked about this one--especially since I've done it almost all my life.
*High five Sister!
We need more people like you out and about in the world. To remind the shallow and ridiculous how much more there is to life than fortune and things. Your shyness has become a hinderance for you and is now like a safe, thick wall from exploring the possiblities of the real world. I rather doubt you'd find any joy in pursuing a vilan in real life. I am more inclined to believe you see a power and strength in them that you wish you had. Projecting is very common, but hard to see when we're doing it.
Guess what. You can take the power of these women/characters and pull it into yourself. You have the capability; you just have to want to. Then, you have to test it; over and over again. You have to fall and learn in the real world, just like I did ~ just like all of us have to. We can learn many things from our insightful minds, but it does absolutely no good if we dream about it ~ on a couch. *wink
You have taken the first step to your dream-self by typing this post. Now, for some baby steps to get out there. I recommend just taking the power and strength you see in these women, and leaving the villan aspects at home :O)
Good luck sweety!
Life is Scary ~ but Good! Live it!