Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.
My Gf and i were together for one glorious year. We were so in love. I was happy, hardly ever felt depressed and saw my future with her clearly. She became my family and I relied heavily on her.
She was always self-assured, loving, family-oriented and happy. She liked to party and would go out often with her friends and leave me at home. I didn't mind at first. After 6 months an ex-gf of mine resurfaced nothing happened there but she was uncomfortable. Shortly after that my GF met this girl at work who she said was a new friend. Instantly, i had a foreboding that it was the office slut (we all work at the same place and my gf most recently). She refused to tell me who it was until several weeks later she admitted that it was "her" the girl i warned her about. I asked her to stop communicating with her. After a few weeks, she went out and i couldnt reach her by phone for the entire night. Two weeks after that, I found a receipt in her pants for a motel near where the girl lives. She claimed it was her mother who rented the room for a friend.
I didnt buy it so I asked her to move out. She refused to open up to me and went to a party the same night she moved out. After a few weeks of separation I asked her if we could give it another try. She said no. A few months later she admitted to still being in love with me and told me she was with the other girl now. We spent new years together and another night before I left to work. While I was away her mother passed, and she started spending more time with the other girl who sleeps with her at night now. Since ive returned weve resumed a sexual relationship which is very intense. She hasn't indicated any intention of breaking up with the girl. She said she has told her that I will always be a part of her life but they are still together. This other girl makes me very uncomfortable at work and even though we work on different floors, she still finds reasons to come into my presence daily.
I really love my ex but Im bipolar and have already hurt myself over this. I think if I leave now it would hurt her deeply and I don't want to do that. I cry almost every day about this. Ive tried cutting all contact with her, but keep running back. She thinks im unstable. What do I do? Im 28 and she just turned 27 and i cant feel anything for anyone else even tho I've tried. Its been six months since the breakup and now i keep acting up when I think of her with that girl of all persons. It hurt me so deeply I lost 20lbs. She always wants to know what im thinking but doesnt share her thoughts. Do i try to get through to her? Do i cut ties and limp away?
She was always self-assured, loving, family-oriented and happy. She liked to party and would go out often with her friends and leave me at home. I didn't mind at first. After 6 months an ex-gf of mine resurfaced nothing happened there but she was uncomfortable. Shortly after that my GF met this girl at work who she said was a new friend. Instantly, i had a foreboding that it was the office slut (we all work at the same place and my gf most recently). She refused to tell me who it was until several weeks later she admitted that it was "her" the girl i warned her about. I asked her to stop communicating with her. After a few weeks, she went out and i couldnt reach her by phone for the entire night. Two weeks after that, I found a receipt in her pants for a motel near where the girl lives. She claimed it was her mother who rented the room for a friend.
I didnt buy it so I asked her to move out. She refused to open up to me and went to a party the same night she moved out. After a few weeks of separation I asked her if we could give it another try. She said no. A few months later she admitted to still being in love with me and told me she was with the other girl now. We spent new years together and another night before I left to work. While I was away her mother passed, and she started spending more time with the other girl who sleeps with her at night now. Since ive returned weve resumed a sexual relationship which is very intense. She hasn't indicated any intention of breaking up with the girl. She said she has told her that I will always be a part of her life but they are still together. This other girl makes me very uncomfortable at work and even though we work on different floors, she still finds reasons to come into my presence daily.
I really love my ex but Im bipolar and have already hurt myself over this. I think if I leave now it would hurt her deeply and I don't want to do that. I cry almost every day about this. Ive tried cutting all contact with her, but keep running back. She thinks im unstable. What do I do? Im 28 and she just turned 27 and i cant feel anything for anyone else even tho I've tried. Its been six months since the breakup and now i keep acting up when I think of her with that girl of all persons. It hurt me so deeply I lost 20lbs. She always wants to know what im thinking but doesnt share her thoughts. Do i try to get through to her? Do i cut ties and limp away?
Think about you now... how much do you love YOURSELF? Let that make your decision for you.
I hope your decision works out for the best.
Big picture being:
Is this healthy for me?
Am I making excuses for myself or the other person?
Will staying play a part in my healing?
How does this relationship benefit me?
Are my needs met in this relationship?
From the sounds of it. There are some blurry boundaries as is.
One thing is to know what your limits are and see if the other person is willing to respect those limits. If she was unable to do so before this person stepped in and is now sleeping with both of you, then her limits may be different than yours.
Maybe take a step back, put emotions in a safe place and reevaluate the situation.