(Part 1: Denying Jealousy)

Dear all I am new here or rather I've been here for awhile but mostly lurking. To get straight to the point. My partner (let's just call her Ally) and I have a great relationship, she has many qualities that I seek in a life partner. However there is a large issue that always seems to hit a sore point in our relationship. I suspect or rather I strongly feel that she is somehow jealous of my ex girlfriends or people I have dated in the past. 

In the early parts of my relationship, Ally would often ask me about my past relationships and I would be open to tell her about the girls I dated before. Some of my exes were pretty nasty and I would explain why I dated them. I would also reassure her that I am no longer in love or in touch with these women. I only want her and that's that. However things got really uncomfortable when Ally started digging into my exes Facebook profiles and making very nasty comments about them. Now I have no problem with her saying bad things about them as it was true that some of them are really bad to me. What made me super uneasy was that Ally spends alot of her free time look into what my exes were doing and dissecting their photos and telling me how toxic they were. Soon my conversations with Ally were half the time about tearing down my exes. I have expressed a huge concern about her behaviour because it has gone beyond trash talking but like a strange obessesion. I have left my past behind and would just like to leave it there but she keeps talking and talking about what my exes are doing all the time.

So finally I couldn't take it I told her that she was really jealous of them and she shouldn't have to because I don't think of them nor do I miss them, want to get back together with them...etc That sent her to a flying rage of denial or at least that is what I think it is. She explained to me that she only trash talk about my exes because she enjoys it and its just entertainment (her exact words). However I cannot shake off the feeling that its more then just frivolous trash talking gossip and that she is really jealous.

1. She talks about my exes daily (its been a year)
2. She goes to their facebook and analyzes their photos and tell me that they have bad vibes.

When I tell her why I am uncomfortable with her jealous behaviour she says I am defending my exes.  I say this again I do agree with her that some of my exes were really really terrible people. So my question is am I right to think that she is jealous. And if she is, how can I make her not feel jealous besides reassuring her alot.

(Part 2: Being Threatened)
Sorry that this is such a long thread of text. So 3 days ago Ally was at it again, about a certain girl I dated before. She had been going on and on about this girl the entire day on text messaging and when Ally and I met up for dinner the same night she was still talking about that girl. She pulled up a photo of that girl and started dissecting photo and saying how evil and nasty this girl was. Btw I only went out one date with this girl and nothing happened because the girl wasn't someone of a good character. With that said, the photo Ally was analyzing, I could have said this better but I told her 'Ally, look I know you already don't like her but to me this is just normal photo of that girl and her colleagues'.

Ally immediately flew to a rage, this would not be the first time she got upset when I disagree about a minor thing about the exes/former dates. In fact she gets upset with me every 2 or 3 weeks (I kept a diary of things) . She shouted at me to leave her as I was running after her to explain things. So i left, minutes later she called me up and said she wanted to meet. I wasn't sure if I should as it would be hard to talk through her anger and my tears. In summary she told me on the phone either I meet her that night and we talk things out or we break up and she will do something that would humiliate me.

She has publicly humiliated me once last year when I called her out on her jealousy. I've forgiven and tried to move on since, but it hasn't been easy as the humiliation was seen by many friends and even some colleagues. 

Eventually I decided I should just turn back and talk to her. She apologised profusely about her behaviour and about threatening me but still she denied about being jealous. Normally I would have accepted the apology and moved on as with other times. However this time as much as I love her, my feelings prevented me from accepting her apology. I don't know if I was being too sensative, but you know the moment when you look into someone's eyes and tho their mouth say sorry their eyes are fiercely indignant. Perhaps she was really sorry...

(Part 3) Final Thoughts.

So this morning, she texted me that she loves me and that perhaps she hasn't been mindful of her behaviour and that perhaps it would be best if both her and I took a break from each other. I told her I love her too and also that her frightful temper and threat was seriously undermining my trust in her not to ever lose her temper and threaten me again. 

I am now at a crossroad on whether to walk away or stay and make it work. To her credit, she really has been very kind and caring towards me for the most part of the relationship. I'd say 65% good and 35% bad. The 35% being the once or twice a month sudden blow up about some ex of mine.

Thank you so much for reading. Any advice would be great.