Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group

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Am I wrong feeling this way?

rebelsrock87
rebelsrock87
OK, so here's the thing. My fiance' and I have been together for almost 5 years and we are getting married this summer. She has an old friend who is on her messenger and we had a huge argument over it because this guy has tried to seduce her and has done everything he can to convince her to go out with him while he knew that she was already with me. So about a month ago we went to counseling over it and she decided that it would be best for both of us if she were no longer friends with him and to take him off her messenger. I felt so relieved i couldnt even describe to you. My fiance' is the type of person who like to please everyone...which can be a bad things sometimes but I love her. Anyhow, my problem is that i recently saw that he was back on her messenger. She said that she deleted him and blocked/ignored him so that he wouldnt be able to IM her again but he is back. I feel so incredibly hurt now. I confronted her a few days ago about it and she said she will take him off and he would be out of our lives and not to worry, but she still has not done anything about it. She hasnt taken any action in deleting him and a apart of me feels like she doesnt fully want to. I just dont know what to do. Any advice???
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have not had this exact experience but I am thinking that maybe she is getting something out of IM ing him. Probably flattery. I completely understand your desire for him to be off her messanger and probably would like her to have done it without you telling her so. Kind of a respect thing. You have a wish that there would be no contact with him and you want that to happen. All i can say is for you to really look at your relationship and if she is "the one" for you, you have to some how compomise and resolve this.. Communication is the key in any relationship. I wish for you the ability to be open and honest and for her to do the same and be respectful! Best of luck.
deleted_user
deleted_user
rebelsrock87,

I agree with thankfulness's response and would add the following: This guy's name on the messenger list aside, are there any problems in your relationship that would indicate that she is at all distracted in her love for you? I ask because if everything is fine, then maybe this is not something that has an impact. What does she get from her connection with him? What would you gain from her severing all ties? How would your relationship benefit from the status quo?

These are questions I would encourage you to ponder as you procede - to help you explore the situation and be aware of what you need emotionally. These are just suggestions that I hope might be helpful, not really "advice."

I hope that you and your partner can sort this out. I think the process of sorting these issues out is what helps us to successful in our relationships.

Good luck!
maggy1003