Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.
My wife we just got married in april but we have been together for 4 yrs. It will be 5 in august! but her and my brother got in a fist fight bout a yr ago and he beat her up. Because we lived with my grandparents at the time we couldnt call the law. We have sinced moved out but she refuses to go to our family get togethers. And in a way I dont blame her but shes my wife she should trust and respect me enough to go. Am I being selfish or is this going to ruin our marriage? I always go to her family but her famiy is way more accepting then mine. I just dont know what to do.
Because you lived with your grandparents, you couldn't call the police on your brother? Who's rule was that?
Since you've been together so long, has the issue of visiting with your family come up before the actual marriage?
Why would your marriage change her decision to stay away from a violent in-law?
After the fight, were there any attempts at understanding, apologies or reconciliation? If this circumstance was just brushed under the rug, the violent act is still a predominant, terrible, disgusting memory.
Personally I would have broken all contact with any member of my family that had laid one hand on my partner, and I would never even consider expecting her to be in their company.
IMO her decision not to hang out at family get together's has absolutely nothing to do with 'respecting or trusting' You. This is about respecting herself. There should never be a reason she should put herself in an uncomfortable, harmful environment ~ for Anyone.
You two have been nothing but extremely happy to be in each others lives. The only way this will effect your marriage is if You let it. Either this very negative situation is worked out between your brother and wife in a mature, thoughtful way; or it will simply continue to be an issue that arises upon occasion.
Carry on with your lives together and don't let this snowball into unimportant, ridiculous family drama. You're married now and it's time to understand and support your first priority: your wife.
Good luck ~