So my wife and I have been together for almost 9 years, we met when I was 18 and she had just turned 24. She was my first true love (still is)and continues to amaze me with the love and compassion she exudes. There is only one minor issue that has recently come up in our marriage. Just the other day she approached me and mentioned that she wanted to start binding her chest and eventually, possibly get top surgery done. I have been doing my best to be supportive and I do only want her to be happy so I have been trying to continue the conversation. I had been asking if she feels that she was born in the wrong body or if am I using the wrong pronouns and so on but I have been encountering a wall. I feel that she is just telling me what I want to hear because she knows that I really am attracted to females and femininity. And to be honest I am really scared of the idea of of them going through hormone therapy (because I have heard that personalities can change and tempers can rise but honestly IDK) and refering to them as a male. I am not certain that I can handle it even, but I really seriously hope I can.

My biggest issue is that I am not attracted to masculinity and even though my spouse has always worn clothes from the mens department I still always percieved them in a very female light. The thought of being with a man has been causing my panic attacks to come back and I feel really guilty for missing something or not being supportive enough... But at the same time I am still very inlove with my spouse and want help changing my minset/worries because if my wife is really my husband, they are still at their core the person I fell inlove with. And maybe they feel more non-binary or something else? I do not know but I need help to get them to open up to me and I need to be careful with my words. ( I have a tendency to dig quite the hole in conversation) Anyone else had experience with this or have words of advice for me. Please no rude comments, this is just all so new to me.