Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.
I have a spouse;Nancy, that is terminally ill, MS, Lyme Disease of the Brain and Dementia. Recently she has died in my arms, I had to revive her here at home. She lived against the odds. Everyday I wait for the other shoe to fall, maybe finding her dead in her sleep. She now is in Renal Failure and Mal-absorbtion. I look in her beautiful eyes and see the blankness that now resides in her brain, I mourn my loss with her. Not really being a couple for over 5 years since her illnesses began it has been hard. I had been very faithful.
Well, a friend came for a visit in May, she stayed for 5 weeks, She and Nancy have been friends for more than 20 years. I only have know Maryjo for a 4 years. But she wanted to come and visit I said okay she had just been abused by her partner of 17 years, she came home from spending a week with her daughter and found all of her things gone..... WOW! We spent a lot of time talking during that time. We became close. Then she came for the visit. My heart was like a sponge it absorb her love and her caring for the situation I was in.
She wants to be with me, she is moving back to Mass from Florida... She understands that I will never abandon my Nancy, she did not ask to be ill. I could never put in a Nursing Home. I am a retired Nurse (ICU/CCU) and Director of Nursing... so I can do it at home.
My guilt... loving both of these womyn.... even though I am not going to hurt Nancy, she is gone, she does not know who I am a lot of the time. I sit and mourn my loss with her. But, I have told this to Maryjo, she understands how that is, it is okay with her. I have guilt having her be the other womyn.... having me but not really having me. She has volunteered to help me take care of Nancy when I have go on errands or whatever. She is 11 years younger than I.... She has been through a lot in her life... she too is from Portugal, like Nancy! They love family life these two....
Should I feel guilt??? I am I wrong for wanting and needing love????
What do you guys think???? Help, tell me like it is, I am up for anything you have to say!
Altheia
Well, a friend came for a visit in May, she stayed for 5 weeks, She and Nancy have been friends for more than 20 years. I only have know Maryjo for a 4 years. But she wanted to come and visit I said okay she had just been abused by her partner of 17 years, she came home from spending a week with her daughter and found all of her things gone..... WOW! We spent a lot of time talking during that time. We became close. Then she came for the visit. My heart was like a sponge it absorb her love and her caring for the situation I was in.
She wants to be with me, she is moving back to Mass from Florida... She understands that I will never abandon my Nancy, she did not ask to be ill. I could never put in a Nursing Home. I am a retired Nurse (ICU/CCU) and Director of Nursing... so I can do it at home.
My guilt... loving both of these womyn.... even though I am not going to hurt Nancy, she is gone, she does not know who I am a lot of the time. I sit and mourn my loss with her. But, I have told this to Maryjo, she understands how that is, it is okay with her. I have guilt having her be the other womyn.... having me but not really having me. She has volunteered to help me take care of Nancy when I have go on errands or whatever. She is 11 years younger than I.... She has been through a lot in her life... she too is from Portugal, like Nancy! They love family life these two....
Should I feel guilt??? I am I wrong for wanting and needing love????
What do you guys think???? Help, tell me like it is, I am up for anything you have to say!
Altheia
all i can say/tell you is some story my mom had told me..
there was this couple, husband and wife and well the wife started to get somthing making her forget things around her.. like senile or somthing.. but he eventually had to put her in a home and he was faithful to her and stayed by her side, but then he found another chick and fell for her, but he still never left his wifes side and the other woman new of his wife and accepted it, and also visited her and he took her out on dates with the other woman and such. he loved his wife very much but understood he could never have like a normal conversation with her about things(like how was your day, was last week ok? ec t)
but i forget the end cuz my mind trailed away from my mom speaking wondering how many couples have to go thru this and how could they survive and such. i dont think i could stay in a faithful relationship, but i could never abandon someone i had loved.
you shouldnt feel guilty, you need the love just as much as neone else, you are not wrong for needing love for love is what the body craves like food, what i think is, your sweet for staying with and helping nancy, and i think you still should so she can have someone close helping her. but do not feel guilty bout maryjo... im unsure how to wrap this up, but *hugs you*
There is absolutely no reason to let guilt or remorse slip around this new light that has been given to you.
I am so, so very happy for you.
((Long Hug))
i know this from my experience too... i sent you a PM...
Altheia