Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.
I've been in a relationship with my now wife for 3 years. We have gone through a lot together--A ton of disappointment, heartache and trust issues--which has changed us both. I feel like we aren't connecting anymore, we are distant, and in a boring routine. I will be the first to say I'm not perfect, I make mistakes, I'm over emotional. My wife although I love and adore her is very overbearing. She feels like she is always perfect, she doesn't make mistakes and is not very emotional when it comes to me at all. She has a strong personality and I don't feel like when I try to talk to her I can ever convey my feels or make her care about my feelings. She's has no filter and when she talks to be it's truly unbelieve the nasty, disrespectful things that come out of her mouth. She ALWAYS says she doesn't have to have a filter with me bc we are married and she should be able to say whatever she wants to me. Ughhh, I feel stuck.
Any thoughts or suggestions?
PAX
Any thoughts or suggestions?
PAX
Okay, my thoughts. You guys need to go see a councilor, if for no other reason than to be told the ground rules for settling arguments. Apparently, your wife doesn't believe in rules and the only thing she is interested in is winning, and she feels perfectly justified in any low blow she uses, any pain she inflicts, if that let's her win. "Your my wife and I can abuse you if I want" (well, that is what she is saying isn't it?), this idea is just sick.
If she won't do the councilor, and I suspect she won't, (she would be losing you see) I would ask her point blank if she feels she has the right to abuse you. If she says no, ask her if she sees that what she is doing is abusive. If she says no, then maybe you can start a dialogue. If she becomes abusive, feigning indignation, (or insisting that she is not being abusive) you have your answer. That answer would be yes to the first question. I know what I would do with that answer, for abuse in a relationship only escalates.
Best of luck here, you're in for a bumpy ride, I think. But you're going to be so much better off on the other side of this journey. Big hugs.