That counselor sounds pretty bad, did they give advice or steps on how to do it? Thats like "hey you are so sad, be happy! " Well crap if you knew how to do it, then you wouldn't be seeing the damn counselor! That pretty much just makes you want to punch the other person....

So to begin with it seems like your sense of worthy of loving is attached to something outside of yourself. In other words, something outside of you has to love you or seem like they love you in order for you to believe that you are worthy of love. Does that seem right to you?

What makes you worthy of love? It may be a rational or irrational idea, but you have to start there.

If it doesn't make sense or it is not helpful then you have to start changing it, but lets just start with
What makes you worthy of love?

I really don't know what makes me worthy. I've lost sight of it all. my counselor (who is a phd) told me that I have to figure it out myself since only then will it be meaningful and not information piped in from others that i just piggyback on. Yes, I do draw alot from outside sources to give me praise or to give me compliments or pay attention to me. I can't see any good that i'm doing thru all the failures and disappointments. I feel useless and unworthy of anything that comes from inside. When I talk about stroking my ego, I apoligize to whoever I'm talking to in order to not sound conceited. I guess I should stop apoligizing! I don't know what makes me worthy of love. My family has never been affectionate physically or verbally. Anymore what I get at home when I leave is "Don't get hit by a truck because I need you to do this when you get home". Yeah, I get such warm fuzzies. I don't feel that I mean anything to anyone. In my last relationship, we talked all the time and I felt like I finally found someone that will see me as an important person in their life. That's over now. All that's left is the anguish and self beatings that I put on everyday. I just don't know what to do.

PhD SheehD, going to school for a lot of time just means you've gone to school for a long time doesn't mean he necessarily knows what hes talking about. Although in this case, he sort of does, you do have to find it for yourself, but he kind of sounds like a tool to me.

The part that he left out is to change some of your negative opinions about the world outside of you can find what the part of you that does love.


Humor me for a moment.

Within your mind you've got a lot of beliefs about yourself about how bad you are. Now you are given an assignment, find a belief about how things are good. Well now you have needle in the haystack game. Its not that you can't find whats worth loving through that, its just that its really difficult.

I see two ways you can find your inner love child

1) Recondition your ideas and mind around your the world and yourself to be more positive or at least neutral, so that you can find it. (Take some time)
2) Feel into yourself the place that is totally loved by your dogs and cats. Now, feel the part of you that totally loves them back. Is that love? What does it feel like? What is its shape? What is its texture? Does it have a color? A sound? What is it?