But are you being unfair? Your pregnant and need his support. I dont think its too much to ask that he cuts down the socialising, YOU should be his priority, your carrying his child, and he should take care of YOU. I'm not saying he shouldnt go out at all, but he should be prioritising what is important.

Just my personal opinion, but i think too many marriages and partnerships dont make it these days because couples dont work together as a team and put each other first.

you are right in a lot of ways mrs. ripley. and maybe i'm not being completely there for him. i don't know....it's hard when i feel like he thinks it's more of a chore to be with us. and it makes some sense. when he's down there, nobody's putting any pressure on him and he can "let go". With us all he seems to do is bicker and worry about this and that. and i'm sure it doesn't make it easier when i make snide remarks about him going out and spending time with his "real family".
i want to be able to help him more. but with his drinking taking more and more of a toll on me, i don't even know where to start. but it makes me feel like a bad wife because it is hard to be supportive when i get verbally shit on. i really don't know what to do :(

I'm sorry you're going through this :(

My BF went out on Friday night, after practically leaving me Thursday night, and I nearly died. The way he did it upset me so much as well. He texted Friday after work saying he'll be home late cuz he's going to his friend's house. I thought that was so disrespectful - is it wrong for us to ask that they check with us first? See if there are any plans for dinner, etc?

Anyways we argued..it was tough. I know what you are going through, and being pregnant must not be the easiest thing right now. But try taking a step back and just leaving him aloe about it. When he wants to go out, don't make a big deal of it. Be more laid back at home. Soon enough, he'll WANT to spend more time at home, rather than out.

Things will all work out, they always do :)

thank you lisa. men will just continue to be really insensitive i guess lol. but i do feel like i've been letting him do his own thing more and more, so it's frustrating, albeit selfish that I don't feel like i'm getting anything back.
maybe i'm just jealous that it seems like i don't have "a thing" you know? i feel horrible saying that because I have my son and friends but lately there's been something missing.
and now my husband' been getting into this online video game which feels like more of excuse not to interact with us when he's home. i want to be cool with it and most of the time it doesn't bother me, but when i get worked up like this it does.
*sigh* i just feel lost in limbo or something :(

i feel the same way you do. i really do believe that my husband feels more "at ease" or less stressed when he stays out with his friends, or when he's at work. once he's home...he's just so....unhappy.

yes shai, it's been getting worse lately and i feel like i can't do or say anything right :(
i know that in a way it makes sense that friends are less stressful, they don't put any real worries or pressure on him because with them all it is is about having fun...but it makes me feel so sad to think that it seems he just "works" for me and his son and that all we do is force him to slave away at a job he hates, i know he holds that against us. i just wish we accounted for more than that. i suppose that in reality we do, but right now it feels otherwise.
i'm sorry you feel this way too :(

Sometimes things come up last minute and there's not always a chance to say "look hun, the guys are going to pub or whatever in a couple of days and i thought i'd go" But ive learnt my lesson on that score, if asked on the day i decline the offer.
Your right, out of respect we should ask if its ok, but we are grown men and dont like asking permission like your our mum! I'm sure if you said something like "look i dont mind you going out, just let me know when in advance." Its worth a try!

that's the same thing my bf said - what mr sensistive is saying, that sometimes he just won't have the opportunity to give me advance notice. that's fine, but only if it's really SOMETIMES.

yesterday i had taken pork chops out for dinner. he calls me on his way home saying he is going out to dinner with his daughter. without me. i can understand that they need alone time - but it hurt my feelings, and i had a hard time with it.

last friday he went to the pub after work. he finished early, and sepnt a couple of hours there. he was still home at the regular time, but he didn't call me and tell me where he is, he just told me when i called and asked him when he'll be home.

it just feels like as the weather gets warmer, he is pulling away, having more fun without me, so i totally understand what you are going through.

now, every day, i kind of wait to see what he'll be doing. it stinks. i don't know...i'm going through a very paranoid time so that could be affecting me as well.

i guess we just have to grin and bare it for a bit