Jealousy Support Group
Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. This rival may or may not know that he or she is perceived as a threat. If you or a loved one may have an issue with jealousy, this community is a good place to start exploring the issue and get support. We're here for...
First off I want to say, no offense to anybody here.
But having a jealous personality does not go well with being in a western world with so much skin show:(
I love the ocean and can't go to a beach because I cannot stand the sight of tons of semi-naked women showing parts of their ass and boobs...its tooo much for me.
I am OK if I go by myself or with a friend.
I cant stand the though of my husband seeing these women. And some of these women lay on the beach in poses that show even more of their breastslegs etc.
I find it offensive and triggers my jealousy. So we are not able to enjoy the waters that I love and I don't want to go by myself and leave him. I know he likes the ocean too but does not want to have an 'incident'. Nor would I want him to go by himself. Because the problem for me is HIM not seeing these people.
And now everywhere even more so than ever, women go around in teeny summer clothes.
Somehow the men are not shirtless nor wear very revealing tight or small shorts.
Just the women. They wear semi-transparent clothes that show the bra...and teeny tight shots and move their legs around if sitting in a public place.
Its hard to go to a store without finding someone showing ample cleavage or leg.
I don't expect women to cover up too much and be over modest. Yet this is another extreme. Women seem to Show too much.
I don't cover myself head to foot or anything nor do I expect that kind of a standard. But its hard to deal with women everywhere around here who Show more...even more than the men.
Too much skin show for me.
And it makes my husband nervous to go to a store with me. I want to be able to shop with him and have our own life.
Life is short and we live busy lives. We want to spend time together and do things together.
Just that we want go to a restaurant where lots of people come. Cant go to the movies coz women dress up wayy to much for these things.
WE go to grocery stores but its harder these days with all the summer semi-nudity.
Ibeleive that open exposure to sun is not even healthy. Best is to wear losse fitting cotton clothes that give a cover over skin.
Anyways I don't believe health is the point or the heat really. Coz teh men all wear shirts and loose shorts.
Its a sexualized culture. People have sex since teenage years and have multiple partners before they get married...IF they do.
Although that does not bother me as its not in my face.
All this nudity is a BIG trigger for my jealousy.
Its hard.
Again no offence to anyone. Its my vent and difficulty.
An alcoholic may avoid bars or certain sections of a store. A jealusaholic has to struggle with daily joys...and it affects their PARTNERS. I don't like HIM to go anywhere either. Its frustrating
Sometimes I feel like telling these women...hey am so sorry for you...seems you have no clothes to wear?
Its frustrating for me with the different morals and stuff. phew
But having a jealous personality does not go well with being in a western world with so much skin show:(
I love the ocean and can't go to a beach because I cannot stand the sight of tons of semi-naked women showing parts of their ass and boobs...its tooo much for me.
I am OK if I go by myself or with a friend.
I cant stand the though of my husband seeing these women. And some of these women lay on the beach in poses that show even more of their breastslegs etc.
I find it offensive and triggers my jealousy. So we are not able to enjoy the waters that I love and I don't want to go by myself and leave him. I know he likes the ocean too but does not want to have an 'incident'. Nor would I want him to go by himself. Because the problem for me is HIM not seeing these people.
And now everywhere even more so than ever, women go around in teeny summer clothes.
Somehow the men are not shirtless nor wear very revealing tight or small shorts.
Just the women. They wear semi-transparent clothes that show the bra...and teeny tight shots and move their legs around if sitting in a public place.
Its hard to go to a store without finding someone showing ample cleavage or leg.
I don't expect women to cover up too much and be over modest. Yet this is another extreme. Women seem to Show too much.
I don't cover myself head to foot or anything nor do I expect that kind of a standard. But its hard to deal with women everywhere around here who Show more...even more than the men.
Too much skin show for me.
And it makes my husband nervous to go to a store with me. I want to be able to shop with him and have our own life.
Life is short and we live busy lives. We want to spend time together and do things together.
Just that we want go to a restaurant where lots of people come. Cant go to the movies coz women dress up wayy to much for these things.
WE go to grocery stores but its harder these days with all the summer semi-nudity.
Ibeleive that open exposure to sun is not even healthy. Best is to wear losse fitting cotton clothes that give a cover over skin.
Anyways I don't believe health is the point or the heat really. Coz teh men all wear shirts and loose shorts.
Its a sexualized culture. People have sex since teenage years and have multiple partners before they get married...IF they do.
Although that does not bother me as its not in my face.
All this nudity is a BIG trigger for my jealousy.
Its hard.
Again no offence to anyone. Its my vent and difficulty.
An alcoholic may avoid bars or certain sections of a store. A jealusaholic has to struggle with daily joys...and it affects their PARTNERS. I don't like HIM to go anywhere either. Its frustrating
Sometimes I feel like telling these women...hey am so sorry for you...seems you have no clothes to wear?
Its frustrating for me with the different morals and stuff. phew
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89FNo energy, just going to do whatever. Sandra, It's hard to move at a certain time in life. You've been in your home forever, at least you'll be able to travel to the beach and enjoy. Oh, we did hear Boris Johnson's tenure ended due to a series of ethics scandals, accusations of dishonesty and a final collapse of government support that forced his recognation. What he didn't do like the...
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88FWhat I do like is early morning clouds and then they disappear and the sun comes out. That was it's cooler in the morning. I'm sitting here looking out the window at the hummingbird with the river and dike as a back drop. It's hard to invision ever leaving but I'm also a realist with aging, especially when the luncheon we had with thirty former classmates on Monday. Sandra, we get news of...
I love the beach too and so does my dh, but we hate crowded beaches, so we go early morning and go when it starts to fill up, and late afternoon when everyone packs up.
You can also go when its not going to be a scorcher of a day when you know everyone else will head there.
You can enjoy the beach, you just have to find a solution : )
And those girls with it all hanging out, they are just as insecure as you are, they are judging their self worth on the reaction they get from men, which is a bit sad if you think about it. Much better to own your own self worth dont you think..
I wrote some venting type post here and I am touched by the supportive and soothing texts.
Several years ago (and even some days here and there...on a particularly difficult day) I feel so hopeless about all this...I'm bright, brave, smart, attractive, funny, loving compassionate, talented and have overcome much in life and deeply enjoy life.
Yet this ONE area is so sensitive that in an instant, the walls seem to close in and I feel like dying...
An unloving hurting wounded and rageful beast comes out as me paranoid and diminished greatly.
I thought I am the only one...I am beginning to see that there are some people (for various reasons, genetic, childhood issues, past relationships, betrayal...I don't know)...have similar issues.
Finding others like me has helped lift a HUGE burden off, in letting me be able to ACCEPT my condition more clearly.
I am certainly not 'cured', but life has gotten more manageable now.
Like a diabetic, there are conditions and constraints to living.
But most of all, its very helpful for me to find validation for how I feel...somehow the stronghold of the emotion/thought etc seem to lessen when I can accept it and share it honestly.
I don't believe my suicidal feelings these days...yet I can see how I could go from flying in the clouds to dropping 10000 miles beneath the sea with this issue.
I believe I need help...understanding, acknowledgement, sharing what worked and what didn't, what adjustments one can make...support system where one can text or email...trying to avoid acting out on triggers.I have hope now...a tiny ray.
Yes a community for people with these patterns (I call myself a jealousaholic because I have been dealing with this in many ways for about 14 years now!)...its not just a regular emotion issue...so yes, with support one can manage this better and heal little by little each day.
I no longer want to let love become the feared thing! And for someone outside of me to have tat kind of power over my emotional, mental,physical state...and its a process and takes some steps...
I think its worth it.
I'm still working on getting online chat meetings on www.jealousyanonymous.org...I have to get that webpage running, add information and blog for people to share...its busy and I'm doing what I can slowly.
But one could join on the weekly meetings through skype at present...and send emails, work the steps...and share...text if there is a trigger instead of releasing it on a partner and email.
Alone, I cannot do it. I can do it with the help and support of a community that understands, does not judge and some concrete action steps guided by a higher power of ones choice (or the power of the group).
Thanks