Jealousy Support Group
Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. This rival may or may not know that he or she is perceived as a threat. If you or a loved one may have an issue with jealousy, this community is a good place to start exploring the issue and get support. We're here for...
Hello
I'm back with my attempts to find some breakthrough over bikinis and skimpy clothing.
Living close to a beach but not having been there with my husband for fear/terror of bikini clad women...
i miss the beaches from my home country...I love water bodies and I want to be able to enjoy the ocean.
Unfortunately, I'm in a land where bikinis and two pieces and baring most skin in summers is a norm...and its summertime...
the other day I saw a young mother With here baby at a store...wearing such tiny shorts covered by her transparent T-shirt that it was barely clear if she actually wore shorts...she did...just so very small...
My husband does everything he can to make me feel secure and reassured.
However, I move between absolute judgement and disgust over shameless immodest women to indifference and wanting to focus on my own life and relationships.
Its fine if they do what they do. I'm pretty much indifferent.
But I want to find ways so that I can enjoy the ocean with my husband and stay in trust and love when we may go to a beach. I don't want to stop doing things with my husband and enjoying my own life because of this.
Sometimes I see women stare at us and try to get attention...which is too much but I hope that won't happen.
Nor would I tolerate if any of these women were to smile or greet to try to talk...I cant fathom why any woman would want to talk to other adult especially men if they would stand in barely anything.
I doubt something like that would happen either..unless we go to a restaurant at the beach or are too close to crowds...
So if the above don't happen and we just go for our own time...I still need some advice and suggestions about how to handle my jealousy and possessiveness and such.
I am not going to improve my 'self image' by stripping too or try to look a certain way. Self esteem is more important than self images and one can look like a milliion dollars and still have this problem.
I'm considering suggestions on attitudes and perspectives.
No point me complaining that when I'm paying tax like everyone I should get to enjoy public places without others private parts seen. I don't really like the idea of kids seeing adults in so much skin show either..but I don't have to worry about it yet as I don't have kids...
For now...I am trying to find ways to be free to live my own life and have a good time with my husband at a beach when there are all these other people around.
I may or may not be open to all of them right now but I'm listening...
I'm back with my attempts to find some breakthrough over bikinis and skimpy clothing.
Living close to a beach but not having been there with my husband for fear/terror of bikini clad women...
i miss the beaches from my home country...I love water bodies and I want to be able to enjoy the ocean.
Unfortunately, I'm in a land where bikinis and two pieces and baring most skin in summers is a norm...and its summertime...
the other day I saw a young mother With here baby at a store...wearing such tiny shorts covered by her transparent T-shirt that it was barely clear if she actually wore shorts...she did...just so very small...
My husband does everything he can to make me feel secure and reassured.
However, I move between absolute judgement and disgust over shameless immodest women to indifference and wanting to focus on my own life and relationships.
Its fine if they do what they do. I'm pretty much indifferent.
But I want to find ways so that I can enjoy the ocean with my husband and stay in trust and love when we may go to a beach. I don't want to stop doing things with my husband and enjoying my own life because of this.
Sometimes I see women stare at us and try to get attention...which is too much but I hope that won't happen.
Nor would I tolerate if any of these women were to smile or greet to try to talk...I cant fathom why any woman would want to talk to other adult especially men if they would stand in barely anything.
I doubt something like that would happen either..unless we go to a restaurant at the beach or are too close to crowds...
So if the above don't happen and we just go for our own time...I still need some advice and suggestions about how to handle my jealousy and possessiveness and such.
I am not going to improve my 'self image' by stripping too or try to look a certain way. Self esteem is more important than self images and one can look like a milliion dollars and still have this problem.
I'm considering suggestions on attitudes and perspectives.
No point me complaining that when I'm paying tax like everyone I should get to enjoy public places without others private parts seen. I don't really like the idea of kids seeing adults in so much skin show either..but I don't have to worry about it yet as I don't have kids...
For now...I am trying to find ways to be free to live my own life and have a good time with my husband at a beach when there are all these other people around.
I may or may not be open to all of them right now but I'm listening...
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89FNo energy, just going to do whatever. Sandra, It's hard to move at a certain time in life. You've been in your home forever, at least you'll be able to travel to the beach and enjoy. Oh, we did hear Boris Johnson's tenure ended due to a series of ethics scandals, accusations of dishonesty and a final collapse of government support that forced his recognation. What he didn't do like the...
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88FWhat I do like is early morning clouds and then they disappear and the sun comes out. That was it's cooler in the morning. I'm sitting here looking out the window at the hummingbird with the river and dike as a back drop. It's hard to invision ever leaving but I'm also a realist with aging, especially when the luncheon we had with thirty former classmates on Monday. Sandra, we get news of...
I really know he does a lot with helping me heal with J.
I really really want to not bother about these things and focus on love and peace and joy.
Hopefully we will try to go to beach soon one of these days and it will be a liberating and healing move forward towards greater trust, harmony and peace and strengthen our bonds of love.
How does that help you, well you know it doesnt, you just get more and more wound up and more anxious and end up feeling more insecure and intimidated, more judgmental and more disgusted like you say.
What if you didnt see any of what youve mentioned? What if it was just you 2 on the beach and enjoying every aspect of it.
The sand, its colour, texture etc Are there shells? Are there rocks, stones? The smell of the sea, i love that, what about the sky? Is it blue and cloudless, is the sun shining? How hot is it? What sounds can you hear? Are there birds? We have lots of seagulls that like to eat your left over chips!
There is so much in your world your not taking in, your missing everything except what flesh is on show.
Ive used this thought process, it does take practice because your mind is in a unhealthy habit, you will find your mind drifting to thoughts you dont want to be having, so you say STOP, and carry on with taking in as much as you can with what is surrounding you, honestly stick with it and you can get into a new habit.
try it next time your out in a less threatening environment to start off with. Concentrate on buildings, weather, flowers, animals.......
Zone in on all your senses and emotions but not the jealousy one!
I suggested going this weekend. I hope we do go and I will inform how it goes if we do.
i guess god helped us out
and thanks to you all:)
just remember it does take practice and their will be days where you find it more difficult than others. Use it everywhere you go : )