Jealousy Support Group
Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. This rival may or may not know that he or she is perceived as a threat. If you or a loved one may have an issue with jealousy, this community is a good place to start exploring the issue and get support. We're here for...
Hey I was wondering if anyone here has experienced overpowering physical symptoms as a result of jealousy? I am not feeling well right now because I'm feeling jealous. My entire back is in so much pain and I feel like my insides are gonna come out, not to be graphic! I feel a fire physically and emotionally. This is all due to the fact that my boyfriend is a social butterfly with women. I get jealous when I see him connect with them on a level that I want to be able to connect with him on. We have a lot of disconnects and it's driving me up the wall. I get jealous and accusatory when he connects seamlessly with other women. The green goblin has got me and I'm trapped in my own prison wasting my time and energy on these feelings. It's killing me slowly but surely. Help! What's the first step to seeing a light at the end of the tunnel for jealousy like this?
I am also trying to reinforce my self esteem and refocus my energy on myself, trying to stay as busy and self centered as possible to avoid overthinking stuff that may not even be true. Overthinking and worrying will not solve anything and will leave you more jealous , anxious and unhappy, I know this because I live with this almost everyday :(... I think jealousy has to do with that inner critic that we all have and is always putting ourselves down , telling us that we are not good enough, that other woman are better than us, etc, try to fight back that inner critic. There are several internet articles that I have been reading about this whole "inner critic concept" that seem to be helping me.. I think that to overcome jealousy we need to work with ourselves, because at the end of the day we have no control over the actions of others, but we do have control of our own reactions,
here is some CBT thought statements I made for myself:
If he cheats, so what! That is on his conscience, not mine. His karma, his life. At least I know that I was loyal and did my best to trust him and not drive him to that point. It may sting me for a while, but I can deal with that. I've been through worse in my life & him cheating on me isn't the end of the world. It is natural for men to have a primal attraction to women just as we are attracted to other men/women. If a person cheats on you they are only hurting their reputation and making a fool of themselves. Not 1 woman, but 2 or more will know of his disloyalty. It makes him less appealing in the dating world and he risks losing the respect of most people. In fact if he cheats he's showing you his true colors and so it should be easy to move on. Someone who cheats isn't a keeper. So it's no loss and the b**** he leaves you for won't have a good, loyal man by her side. Most likely he'll cheat on her too.
So what are we really afraid of? We want to stop the act of infidelity before it happens because we think that by interfering with his psyche we'll be saved from some perceived misery in the future. When in reality we are creating misery for everyone in this moment by being too paranoid. It's also manipulative, abusive & controlling when we verbally attack our partner over talking to or looking at other women. How would we feel if confronted over every little glance or chat we have with other guys? I know I would feel invaded, abused and controlled. So all of this comes down to the fact that jealousy is a silly vicious cycle that needs to be broken.