Jealousy Support Group

Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. This rival may or may not know that he or she is perceived as a threat. If you or a loved one may have an issue with jealousy, this community is a good place to start exploring the issue and get support. We're here for...

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bluemoon23 01/16/2010

Ok so I have a loving boyfriend and don't have any pressuring jealousy issues with him so far. However, I still find myself jealous over my ex boyfriend! It really bothers me because I want to care less, i've obviously moved on so why do I have a problem with him moving on? I shouldn't care at all. I want him to be happy but the thought of him with another girl really bothers me. I even had a dream about it last night! It's consuming me way too much to be thinking about it. It may sound really stupid but I think I just want to see my ex show some type of emotion from losing me, it's as if he doesn't care that what we had meant anything to him. Could this be the root of the problem? Or is it possible I still have feelings for him? I feel almost selfish for having these feelings.

mandakasravi 01/16/2010

How long ago did you both break up and how long have you been in your current relationship?

Do you share your thoughts and feelings with your current bf if you do then tell him how you are feeling...it is probably overwhelming you because you are keeping it to yourself.

bluemoon23 01/16/2010

We broke up only a couple weeks ago. The person i'm with now i've known for about a year and we just agreed to see where our friendship would go. But my ex still has to come and pick his mail up here, which makes it more difficult. He's expressed to me that he does still have feelings for me, but we both agree that we would probably never work out because we're so different.

mandakasravi 01/16/2010

Okay so it is still pretty fresh. Obv this new guy will know there are still feelings there for your ex as it was only recent you broke up, so it could help to talk to him about it.

I am not sure what you want from this new relationship (if you call it that yet) it's so soon it could even be a rebound.

Would you consider being on your own until you are over your ex or do you like this guy to much?

bluemoon23 01/16/2010

I do like this guy, we tried dating before but he had some emotional issues he had to get through so we decided to just be friends. I don't think I allowed enough time since the last relationship, but I don't want to lose a great thing I have now over someone who hurt me. I'm trying to mourn yet this new guy makes me happy I don't seem to have the time to grieve over my ex. I tried putting these feelings off but it's getting to the point where I want to talk to my ex just to relieve the pressure from myself. I think i'm screwed up.

mandakasravi 01/16/2010

Please don't talk to your ex about it, though your feelings are normal. You might now want to but like I said before, talk to your current bf about the feelings about the ex I am sure he will understand and you will probably feel like a weight has been lifted......

I say this because I was in a situation and as soon as I told my hunni how I was feeling.....magically the feelings subsided...anyway just a thought :)

deleted_user 01/17/2010

your using that emotional guy, to make ur ex jealous and to make urself feel better about the break up with ur ex. (and you dont even know it)

and as a male your ex goes ..well shes moved on so i will too.
if you act like its okay, he will think your okay..he is male after all.

its head games just fucking stop it!

be single. let the love die. grab the sex and the city box set/ and or movie watch them all till the end, watch a bunch of sad movies listen to a bunch of sad songs and then you will be over it and strong enought to move on physically and emotionally..

deleted_user 01/18/2010

Yeah, I was thinking exactly what ttcnumber1 said. You do need to be single for awhile and get everything sorted out. If the guy you're with wants to be with you, then he'll understand and let you be single. If not, then he's not worth it. You know the saying "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours to keep" or something like that, lol.

Just take some time being yourself =) Trust me, I was a serial dater. I haven't really been single since I was 15. I just moved from guy to guy, and I regret it now, but it's too late.

xx

bluemoon23 01/18/2010

thanks for the comments. and thanks #7 reply for agreeing with #6 reply but in a much more grown up manner. i don't need to be scolded when i'm on here looking for support.

deleted_user 01/19/2010

omg what is with you darling people!

im not being mean and im sorry if im coming accross as mean..

maybe im just to forward :( everyone thinking im mean and trying to be hurtful is making me feel so sad..because im just trying to help :(

srsly.

im sorry for ttrying to help.

mandakasravi 01/19/2010

Sometimes your comments can be seen as harsh towards people here and a lot of people have noticed it. I am sure it isn't your intention to hurt.
Just post in the way you wish your posts to be answered.

deleted_user 01/19/2010

i wish for honest opinions.
and if they are harsh, then they are harsh.

i want how other people see it.

not how i want them too see it.

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