Jealousy Support Group
Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. This rival may or may not know that he or she is perceived as a threat. If you or a loved one may have an issue with jealousy, this community is a good place to start exploring the issue and get support. We're here for...
MSOMETHINGMY GUY AND I HAVE ALWAYS HAD AMAZIG SEX . OVER THE PAST MONTH HE HAS BEEN VERY UNATENTIVE TO ME. HE WATCHES PORN A LOT. ALSO VIDEOS OF SEXY WOMEN ON YOUTUBE DOING VARIOUS THINGS. ITS LIKE THAT IS ALL HE IS INTERESTED IN. I ALREADY HAD EXTREME JEALOUSY ISSUES I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO DEAL WITH.BUT NOW HE NEVER SEEMS TO LOOK AT ME . THE SPARK IN HIS EYES IS GONE... I DONT FEEL HE IS ATTRACTED TO ME AT ALL AND USES THE PORN TO GET EXCITED.. IM DEPRESSED AND NO LONGER GET EXCITED ABOUT SEX I have shared my feelings with him many times. He shrugged it off and seems to think I'm being stupid and immature. I realize I have serious jealousy issues and have been trying to deal with this in a mature way.. But this porn thing...the idea that I'm not good enough is killing me, killing us. Is it just me? Do I need to grow up and get over it?I am REALLY struggling here. Somebody please offer some advice..
Now for the porn, I would suggest watch it with him, watch your own, talk about it what he likes. Get interested in it try some different things with and without him, not people... things.
Check your mirror, you still put in the effort?
You need to work on your self-esteem, don't let what he is doing or not doing effect you negatively. Internet porn can run its course and burn out.
Dont change yourself unless it is for a healthier version of you.
If the spark is gone in him...that BS. It just means he is not willing to deal with issues.
tell us more so we can help
Let's cover the facts, these are all virtual reality living in their fantasy land. However, the more people consume it, the easier it draws the eyes and thoughts away from the one they love. Although, these are nonphysical women, the fantasy paves the way for an actual physical affair. It's a reliable predictor of physical infidelity in many cases because it creates unrealistic expectations... these people are digitally enhanced; orgasms are always achieved; and there are never issues with performance or getting in the mood. Having said all of that, know that you're not crazy for feeling the way you feel and this is not your fault. Don't ever think that you're not good enough because you are. Porn in relationship will make you feel worthless, unwanted, shameful, bring you low self-esteem and all the other negative feelings the enemy will whisper to you. Don't believe these lies and dictate who you are.
The most effective way of beating an addiction to pornography is professional counseling. For married men, the best course is to get counseling for yourself and with your wife. Successful recovery also typically includes talking with a trusted friend or a group of men who provide a safe relationship and accountability. And filtering and monitoring software can add a layer of prevention, though they’re not a “cure” for porn addiction.
Counseling and emotionally vulnerable openness with others make most men extremely uncomfortable. Because of the shame surrounding pornography use, the urge to hide the problem is strong. But if your man has a pornography addiction and he's honest with himself, then I hope he would also admit that the problem is bigger than he can handle alone. Encourage him to seek competent help.
Now, if he's in denial, I do want to tell you that, that's normal as part of the healing steps. I mean, no one wants to display his or her sin — I know I sure don’t! So, who will be allowed into this intimate place of your relationship? Maybe it’s a mentor, counselor or pastor. However, a good rule of thumb is to involve only those who are or have potential to be a part of the solution. I understand that you need to have a safe place to express your feelings, but this doesn’t need to be part of your next Facebook post for all to see (I'm sure you won't, but just wanted to point that out).
I would highly recommend to try to find the right time to talk to him again. Calmly and with your full intention of how you would like to see you both heal from this. Express to him (again calmly, without condemning) how much it's hurting you and how it's making you feel and give him the opportunity to talk. It will be a process and will take some time, but hang in there. I only recommend this, if you guys are married, if you're not, then you have a choice to leave a relationship that will just continue to hurt you, if he's not willing to make changes for the benefit of your relationship.
Wishing you well. Please take care of yourself and find trusted people that you can talk to and is looking out for your best interest. Hugs to you.