Jealousy Support Group
Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. This rival may or may not know that he or she is perceived as a threat. If you or a loved one may have an issue with jealousy, this community is a good place to start exploring the issue and get support. We're here for...
I thought I had my jealousy a little under control, but apparantly not. I'm doing what I always do, now i'm checking his myspace and facebook. I was an idiot to look but I just couldn't help it. And of course I find something I don't want to see, I can't him in another lie. He said he had never told his ex he loved her. But what do I find? I find a message he sent back in September saying he was in love with her. Why does he lie to me? No I shouldnt' have been snooping and he didn't delete any of them even though he knows I get on his facebook. I know what his explanation will be too...I forgot...that's always his excuse. I know he's not the brightest guy but come on. How can you not remember! I hate being so jealous over his old relationship, but I don't know if i'm just jealous or upset that he lied. It's my own fault i'm upset. Should I just let this go or confront him about his lie? If I confront him he'll probably just lie again.
If it was before, let it slide and don't say anything; he is just trying to avoid upsetting you. By not getting upset about it you can prove to yourself that you don't have to get jealous, which will raise your self-esteem.
If it was after, you might want to think about just breaking up. You deserve better. I have hurt people by lying and cheating and if they hadn't left, I might not have ever learned anything. If you don't want to break up, you will need to confront him and make it clear that you won't be tolerating this type of behavior. You don't have to be mean about it, just let him know you don't want that kind of relationship.