Jealousy Support Group
Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. This rival may or may not know that he or she is perceived as a threat. If you or a loved one may have an issue with jealousy, this community is a good place to start exploring the issue and get support. We're here for...
so we are married and we used to be in a difefrent part of the tow where there were mostly men in his aa meetings. Almost all and maybe one or two older women. Now he wants to go to meetings for maintaining his recovery. He was many years sober when I met him. I have never been to an AA meeting and of course he wont let me I don't like the idea of him seeing/meeting a group containing one r many women who know deep stuff about him that I don't, where he shares they share,. I don't like the idea of him holding hands with the women, even for the serenity prayer or giving anyone a hug. I feel afraid that he would fall for someone there that would be attractive and he would have an understanding that I don't. I still know very little about his past alcoholism which he says e is not really ready to share with me.
We also have to join the gym. I like to go dancing. I feel uncomfortable with him going to a gym and working out among other attractive women wearing tight clothes. Maybe he falls into a routine and befriends someone.
The very idea of him liking feeling attraction for another woman makes me feel awful. He says I must not try to control his thoughts/feelings.
Please help.
We also have to join the gym. I like to go dancing. I feel uncomfortable with him going to a gym and working out among other attractive women wearing tight clothes. Maybe he falls into a routine and befriends someone.
The very idea of him liking feeling attraction for another woman makes me feel awful. He says I must not try to control his thoughts/feelings.
Please help.
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89FNo energy, just going to do whatever. Sandra, It's hard to move at a certain time in life. You've been in your home forever, at least you'll be able to travel to the beach and enjoy. Oh, we did hear Boris Johnson's tenure ended due to a series of ethics scandals, accusations of dishonesty and a final collapse of government support that forced his recognation. What he didn't do like the...
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88FWhat I do like is early morning clouds and then they disappear and the sun comes out. That was it's cooler in the morning. I'm sitting here looking out the window at the hummingbird with the river and dike as a back drop. It's hard to invision ever leaving but I'm also a realist with aging, especially when the luncheon we had with thirty former classmates on Monday. Sandra, we get news of...
I would suggest you talk to him, you are married after all, your supposed to be "sharing" your life together.
The gym thing, i dont know what your gyms are like, but the women in our gyms are just regular women getting stinky and sweaty and everyone has their personal ear plugs in listening to their music and in a world of their own.
I never noticed any guy checking out a woman to that extent, they were all too busy doing their own thing.
He will be giving me some agreemnets about it and given information that men tend to sponsor men and women sponsor women.
He wouldn't be meeting any women on teh group outside the group or have personal conversations with anyone outside the context of the group.
I do trust and love him. I do want him to share more with me as his confidante. I don't really want to be his therapist. I do want to be his best friend too. He will take me to open meetings and have some agreements before he starts going to the meetings. That does feel good.
Thanks for the advice. I do think thats an important issue, about him sharing. As such, he is reticent. Unfortunately when he has shared in the past I have felt afraid to listen, lest my mind makes a connection with something jealous. If he mentions a city he lived in and loved my mind wonders about teh women he saw there and if thats part of his attraction there! So I don't respond too well and he is also afraid about walking on egg-shells. It keeps him safe being teh reticent person he tends to be. I need to relax and encourage him to share without getting into jealousy loops and he would have to open up more with me.
My part is a hard part for me. Guess his part is hard for him too.
Have to move forward with love and faith in each other.
thanks..
Given that a gym attire and such looked threatening, especially since I would not be around him.
Yet I know he has eyes only for me now. I need to breather and be grateful for our togetherness and bond.