It bothers you because you care for her so much. It's normal to be bothered by the fact that your significant other was intimate with someone besides you, at ANY point in their life. Not all people are bothered by it, but it doesn't make you wrong to care about it.

The most important part is not that it bothers you. The most important part is that you don't let it interfere with your relationship. It was in the past and it was before you. She told you about it, so there was nothing to hide from you.

I also think that it bothers you because the ex left your girlfriend and it wasn't necessarily your girlfriend's choice. Obviously your girlfriend cared for her. That is normal. If you have told your girlfriend how you feel about it, there is not much else that you can do. She really SHOULD have given you some sort of consolidation to make you feel better, but from what you said it seems like she didn't.

For some reason I feel like if she gave you some sort of consolidation "I love you more." "it's you now, not her" whatever...that you would feel a lot better. I think that you two need to work on communicating with each other. Let her know that you need some reassurance, and you also need to know that once you have brought it up once, and that reassurance was given, there is no point in bringing it back up. If it still bothers you, your best bet is to come here or go to a friend to talk about it, not her.

I dont know how to not be jealous of her. I dont want this to ruin our relationship. Her ex now lives with her bio dad two hours away and im scared she'll wanna go back to her.

i'm sorry that i can't tell you how NOT to be jealous of her. I have trouble with figuring out how to not make myself not jealous of people.

That is something that you will have to resolve with yourself, and if you see fit, a counselor or psychiatrist.

I have tried that. I dont really know why im jealous. Ive gotten to where when she brings her ex up i just get real quiet and stop talking and that really pisses her off. When she brings her up im not sure what to say or do. I think if i say the wrong think she'll leave me for her.

i to get jealous oer my g/f's ex's .when we met i asked how many men she had slept with just two she said.and her first ex g/f.as with ur g/f my g/f's ex dumped her.but my g/f told me in detail what they did sexually together .but has never wanted to do any of tat stuff with me.she said she really didn't like it.(then why did she do it then?)i know s.and she was always wanting sexhe wo't do these things for me.by the way i'm talking about pain infliction,bondage etc.anyway after a few mnths together she told me it was more than two men in fac she ouldn't remember just how many cos she was fighting being gay she would get drunk and go off with blokes from the pub and have sex.whooooa that was a shock and the jealousy i felt got worse.then she told me her ex g/f would force her to do these things hn i asked why she didn't want that kinda thing with me ut wth her.sooooo i decided to find this ex g/f online.as by now my g/f had proven to me she was a liar.
her ex tod me my g/f never did anything she didn't want to do in fact my g/f was always wanting sex.i asked her why she dumped her she said she couldn't take her lies and stories.and that after my g/f had got with me but still living in her home town they went for coffee and my g/f was pratically on her lap begging her back.i did ask my g/f but she denied everything apart from having coffee with her.
but i remembered that after we had got together my g/f had brought her ex a birthday present and card.now would u buy a ex who had dumped u a gift?.so far my jealousy was under control.but when my g/f no longer wanted to make love (3 times a year lol| the jealousy has spirilled out of control i keep thnking of her having sex with all the others. how do i try and control it?well i try and distract as soon as a thought comes into my head i find something to do.i think well i have a past to. but in your situation ur g/f was honest with you .it is rare to meet someone who is a virgin nowdays.i have been out with a virgin and through experiance they tend to want to find more women to experiment with. ok so your getting jealous think of why? once you find that answer you can work on it. ask her nicely to help you not to mention this ex g/f. tell her how much it hurts you.
i asked my g/f this and unless she's not thinkng she doesn't mention her ex's.but her mum who we visit a few times a year mentions one of her ex's in particular just to wind me up and get a reaction.but since i didn't rise to her bait she has given up.one time we went with her and her family to watch a street canival procession her mum made sure we all stood outside my g/f's ex b/f's house but when he came out i made sure my g/f ignored him lol ok i used dirty tactics i said if she spoke to him i would tell everyone around she caught him kissing her sister who already had a b/f(this happened after we got together) and that while she was with him she aught him in bed with another woman .it workd she as angry with me though she wouldn't talk to me lololol but i wasn't having her mother win.
but i am in thearpy which helps me not for my jealousy but for my borderln personality disorder.
cbt can help there are books on this.it helps change your thought patterns.

Thanks guys. You've helped alot :)