Hi...I can relate. I relapsed after 16 years of sobriety..I stayed drunk for about 6 months and totally messed up EVERYTHING I worked so hard for. It was tough getting back and I know I wouldn't have if I didn't go to detox then a sober house for 1 year..My biggest problem has always been depression and isolation. I am now sober 11 years, but I am right back to isolating again..I am so scared because I know where I can end up and God...I could not do that again.

You have the knowledge and the power to stop what you are doing, but maybe right now you don't care enough to try..The key is "I Know" yayaya "ASK FOR HELP"...this is the perfect place to start and good for you.....you are already on your way. hang tough your worth it...

Hi and I can relate also. I was sober for only 3 years but I had a major upset in my life and started isolating and soon found myself using alcohol and then I had more issues happen not because of me but because of circumstances. Before I knew it everything in my life turned upside down and every which way and now I had started using drugs again. I ended up losing my house and all my savings and also had a major back injury and no insurance. I am now living with my ex-husband as a roommate in Florida (we did live in California when all of this first started) close to my 23 year old daughter who just had a baby and they are doing well. I am waiting to get disability from my back injury and am recovered from the drug use but am still in bad shape from the back injury.

Oh friend. I can also relate. I am a chronic relapser. It has taken me nearly 15 years and a great sponsor and the willingness for me to have the 6 months I have now. Life is so much better without chemicals. But our disease wants to get us alone and keep us alone and tell us that we are no good and that we should just give up. Don't. We all care about you. I will send you lots of love and prayers. Just, don't pick up. Go to a meeting. Tell them everything. Start today, love.

I too can relate,after undergoing 4 surgeries last year and the emotional pain of my moms death,I relapsed as well,(6 yrs n.a.) My family basically had an intervention with me tonight,I havent even told my sponser !I dread picking up that white key tag ,however I've learned that its better to save my ass rather than my face!I havent lost faith in my higher power thank G.Its just so hard having to deal with chronic pain.I have the "tools" and know what needs to be done Im 57 years old and dont want to spend the rest of my life self medicating-the program works and I vow to get back on track-I have way too much to lose ..

I relate to everyone also. Unfortunately, I also relapsed with 10 years (NA) after a horrific divorce with a newborn. But I never came clean about it. I started isolating more and more and having a baby and working full time, you really don't have any time for socializing or going to meetings, unless there are meetings with childcare, which during that time, they were very scarce.

To this day my program acquaintances don't know that I smoke cannabis, but I also don't go around anyone. I've vowed to put this aside and I will do it. I just have to become willing to give my stash away! Sounds so stupid when I type it here but I also have reservations.

I just have to throw everything away. I feel pretty bad about myself, but I've lived with this lie for so long that I don't know how to get out of it.

You're not in that bad of a shape. Just go to meetings and save your ass. I wish I had done that myself, when I first relapsed, instead of trying to play wonder woman I should have gone to a meeting and got a newcomer chip.