I am white age 48 and my BF is 52 and African American. We have been dating 7 months. At first things were going good and we communicated well, but in the past two or three months he has made comments that his friends do not like me and think I am racist. I was totally shocked and have no idea where they would get this idea from. (As a side note, he is constantly helping his cousins and friends financially and has allowed two of them to move in his apt temporarily. He then complains to me but will not confront them). He is retired from the military and has income and is constantly helping people to the point where it appears he is being taken advantage of.
Back to the other issue, he never holds my hand or acts very close in public, and I asked him about it and he says nothing. He also visits his friends and family and never includes me. At first I thought nothing of it, but now I feel confused, as he says he loves me. He tells me that the neighborhood is not good. I now live in the south and am from the north and he says that it is different. I will also mention he has often made comments about my skin being too pale etc. We had a big blow over the holidays, as he lied to me about his family etc. and where he was going, just to not deal with the situation. I felt very hurt and disrespected. I will say also that this relationship has been volatile and he is an Alcoholic and has been verbally abusive and one time physically. At times also he appears completely without emotion and flat. I am by nature very sensitive and react with a lot of emotion and have been hurt a lot before as he has. As it stands now, we are not together, but I still care for him a lot. I want to understand what is going on and if he really cares or if I should move on. I will also mention that he is ill and extremely thin and I am concerned about him. I know i cannot help him, but I need to. Thanks