She told me that she would pray that I find a black man and told ME that If I wanted a black man I should stop telling them that I am smart and do kick-boxing

Here's the funny thing: my mom prays for me to marry a white guy. Lol but my dad is like your mom. It does matter who your with as long as your happy. Black, white,Asian, Latin, it doesn't matter as long as the guy treats you well. Your mom is being insulting to black males when she says you shouldn't tell them you are smart. That is actually what my best friend ( who is a black male) appreciates most about me. Your mother should be praying for happiness. You should tell her as such. Your smile should be all she's concerned about. If this guy makes you happy then go for. You are not doing it out of rebellion from the heart. So continue to be you and live your life with whomever you choose.

lmao that is hilarious! i am black and im gonna say blk men are few and far in between! my mom says her kids should marry someone blk then says u marry who u fall in love with u very contradicting! tell blk guys u arent smart does ur mom realize that she wants u to pick a blk guy who wants a dumb woman so he can control?

yea, let me tell my daughter that she needs to tell men she isnt smart so i can be happy! wtf is that about? wheres ur dad in this? if ur mom wants u to be dumb ur gonna be attracting the kind of blk guys u dont want doesnt she get it? hasnt ur mom been around the block a few times?

My mom is smart and my die was to. My dad died when I was 8. In my experience most black guys I meet tend to shy away from me because I am smart. she wants me to pretend to "normal" so I can get a black guy. I don't want to be normal.

You and I are very similar, my father passed at 6. I am very intelligent also. My boyfriend soon to be fiancee is white too. He doesnt let my feet touch the ground (not literal but you get how he treats me).I say go for it. Its sad to say this but when your with him and happy you can look at others (i.e. your mother) and shake your head at their unhappiness because they let a silly thing like colour stop them from being happy.

well, if ya gotta be "normal" just to get a blk guy u should tell ur mom that sounds like a desparate kind of woman. women still go thru great lengths just to get a man and if hes an idiot he still dont want her. leave the dumb blk guys somewhere else and find someone who is worth having!

Thats to bad that your mother says that to you. Just keep dating who you want to date. (((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))

Thanks for the support. Im traveling to see him soon. My mom finally started talking to me, mainly because my brother got her to. I never bring up my boyfriend around her just to keep the peace.

As a mother I find it very sad that so many will urge their children, especialy daughters to pretend to be something they are not in order to "get a man". worse yet that they will ignore a great relationship where the couple are happy and encourage their child to "stay within their own race".
It makes no sense to me. That the couple are happy, loving and can create a good life for them and their children when they come SHOULD be the most important thing.

reply #9,

thank u so much!!! best advice i ever heard from someone! i have heard of stories i saw on tv where a white girl was so in love with her blk bf that her family taught her stuff about black ppl that were racist and she ended up dropping him (blk bf), ended up bein racist herself, and marrying an idiot white guy who couldnt stand bein married to her anyway. what i saw on tv, she looked so miserable which was sad but thats the life she chose all cuz she had to listen to her family.

it is sad when you see moms making their daughters to be something they are not and these moms shouldnt be mad that you had ur daughter pick out a douchebag for a bf/hubby. sounds like my mom cant keep a man, had 2 deadbeats including my dad. my mom said she would rather have her kids marry someone black cuz they are better than anybody else! lmao

be true to yourself honey and don't let anyone bully you like this. love is extremely precious. i wish you the best

Thanks for the advice. Me and my boyfriend are doing great and my mom stopped talking about him.

Spottedfeet, how do black men know how smart you are...do you wear a tee shirt stating it...LOL.

Please tell your mom, it's insulting that she wants you to dumb down so a BM can feel smart...LOL. and that kickboxing is great self defense against any predator of all colors...LOL.

Why not just date and stop telling her the race of the men. If none of these men you're dating isn't evolving into marriage talk, she doesn't need to know.

i agree im black my mom would prefer if we married a pos blk guy just cuz hes black! she hates white ppl but wont ever admit it she taught us love is colorblind then says i hate white ppl those cracker ppl etc! how is it love is colorblind when ur blasting off racial comments?

i told my mom blk men aint all of that and she screamed neither r white men had me laughing lol. my bf isnt white he is 1/4 pr and scottish he looks jewish in the face yet she hates him when he has been nothing but nice to her and respectful she doesnt appreciate when someone is respectful towards her. she would bitch to my sister about the color of his skin yet says i am not racist lmao classic

I like to wear my chemistry tee shirts. Also I'm 6'3 so people say, hey do you play basketball and I say no I'm a kickboxer/ chemist. Then they look at me like "what a waste."