Hi swiftsailor,

Let me begin by saying I'm of the same ethnicity as your boyfriend. I went through all the hateful fights, threats to be disown by my parents, etc. My parents didn't talk to me for over 7 years. They finally came around when I had my first child.

Although we are not together any longer, we have BEAUTIFUL children together. In truth, they look more American than asian but I do have friends who have children that are more Asian than American.

If your fear is that they will not be blonde blue eyed, then chances are your fear will be correct since we know about the dominate/recessive gene pool. I will say, however, I do have a girlfriend who married a Swedish man and their children have blue eyes and blonde hair and look nothing like her at all. My children #1 has black, brown and a reddish tint to her hair (she has natural highlights and even waves in her hair). Child #2 has medium brown hair that can lighten during the summer with blonde tips. Child #3 has medium brown hair with lots of body in it. All 3 have different body shapes from his side and my side of the family. Child #1 can tan super easy and gets a really dark brown. Child #2 has more of the American skin tone and tans but can be pale during the fall/winter as with child #3. All have light brown eyes. My ex was a dirty blonde growing up and his family members are also some version of blondes. The height of our children is a combination of both of our sides of the family.

Try wrapping your mind around just mini me's or a mix of both of you. My children as infants looked like a little plump Asian baby but as they grew up, more and more of my ex-husband's features came through. Most likely because all the baby fat was disappearing.

If this is such an important factor for you, then perhaps you should cut ties and move on.

My son has a black Dad, I am of Scottish-Dutch-Irish decent, brunette with brown eyes. Many people say that my son looks just like me. He has facial features just like mine, small mouth, bright dark eyes, small nose and high cheek bones. He has his Dad's body, tall and slim. I am short and slim.(was) He has darker skin than I have but he is a male mini-me. In so many ways. He loves books, outdoors activity and is very sensitive and kind. When my son was small I introduced him to books that had all kinds of people in them. He was raised in a very white culture. He did not have many problems since there were few other ethnic peoples around. We did have a few from India and a few asian peoples around. I made sure that he thought he was a wonderful, smart and capable person. He must have felt a little different since his best friend was a white boy with a lazy eye. He also had an asian friend when he was a teen. No one knows what their child will look like. If you really think that you will be disappointed and your family will have a hard time accepting you and your spouse and children due to racial reasons then think again. My family completely accepted my son and two step children who were bi-racial as well. They did not take it easily when I was dating a black man. They did not like me marrying a black man but had the wedding in their house. They were thankful when I divorced. When married I lived in a black neighborhood.

Dear Zen for life, It bothers me to no end when people who are Americans; ie citizens of our wonderful USA do not refer to themselves or their beautiful children as American due to Asian or other ethnicity. American is not a color of skin or hair. American is a citizenship that includes all kinds of people from all over the world. Don't say a child has more American complection. What does that mean? More white?

At the end of the day, if I end up being able to be blessed with children. I just want them to be healthy with the many health issues I have had. Have I thought about what my kids may look like. Ya, who hasn't. I have blonde hair and hazel eyes. If they look more like my future husband that is a beautiful thing to me. They will be wonderful no matter who they look like more.
If you are worried about what your family will think or his maybe you need to think about taking the relationship slower. Half my family disowned me and I couldn't care less.
At the end of the day if a person treats me with love and respect, and loyalty. I do not care what ethnicity they are. I care about who they are as a person. Family or friends will not stop me from dating someone based on their culture/ethnicity.
Have you spent some serious time getting to know his culture? Just curious. I think it is very important, especially if you are thinking about having children. I am sure he might want to keep certain traditions and holidays from his culture alive so that his children can experience them and appreciate them. Have you talked to him about that?
Many Blessings.

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Hi there, I am a child from an interracial marriage. My mother has very fair skin with freckles and my father is dark skinned.
I came out in between, i'm tan skinned. most times, strangers think my mother is a friend or a colleague. I do look like my mother though, my sister more so than me.

we have similar features and when I do take a picture with my mum, our smiles are the same and so are our eyes.

my cousin who is tan skinned like me, married a caucasian man and her kids look nothing like her. Her first child, looks so much like her husband with blonde hair.

they might not look 100% like you, they will probably be fair skinned like you, share some features, maybe have green eyes or brown eyes, but hey, I think they will look gorgeous.

I live in Asia, and caucasian mixed asian kids, look uniquely beautiful. and you will still love them all the way because you made them out of love.