Interfaith Relationships Support Group
This community is dedicated to the challenges presented when two people of different religious backgrounds form a relationship. Mingling different religions has both positive and potentially challenging aspects, including the religious preferences of children, religious holidays and traditions, schools and religious education and potentially different moral or ethical...
Hi everyone,
I'm currently dealing with an extremely hard situation. I've been in a relationship for a year now and I know it hasn't been too long, but my boyfriend and I share a beautiful relationship. We understand each other,have always been supportive of each other and most importantly see a future together. However,his parents have been continuously pressuring him to break up with me,mainly because of my religion. I'm baptist and practice Christianity but my dad is a Hindu. Our religious environment at home has always been a supportive one and my parents practice their own faiths. I am involved in both aspects of their faith, however I am more inclined and commonly practice Christianity. His parents want us to end our relationship because he is a Muslim from Dubai and I am an Indian. I know there has always been this animosity between Muslim and Hindus historically, but we live in Canada, where a mosaic of multiculturalism is strongly present. We are probably not the first couple that has endured something like this. I initially faced a similar situation with my parents and but fought relentlessly with my parents because I knew 100% that he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. My parents had threatened to disown me and gave me the option of moving out if I chose to be with him. However, after fighting long and hard the situation simmered down. On his side of the family, they have threatened to disown him and have given him the option to choose between our relationship and his family. He is currently going back to school and has quit his job, making him financially vulnerable and is dependent on his family for financial security. He is not in a position to leave his home and take a stand for our relationship as he has much to complete in order to move on to the next phase of his life, or even to be ready for marriage. Completing his degree by the end of the year and getting a job after that to collect savings has become a priority. I love him very much and so does he. But the situation with him at home has become severe in the sense where his parents continue to pressure him to end things with me. It will be our second year anniversary in 2 days and we have booked a trip for a weekend to get away, but his parents have given him an ultimatum that if he goes on the trip, he should just take his things with him and leave, putting us in a difficult situation. The only solution that I've managed to come up with is for me to disconnect myself with my dad's faith and completely adopt Christianity as my one true faith in order for his family to accept me, as Islam and Christianity are basically built on the same story and principles. I would truly appreciate some advice from anyone that is in my situation or has been. II honestly don't know what to do. I do not want to hide our relationship and want to make things better, I am not going down without a fight. I do not want to stop trying everything only to regret it in the future, before we decide that it isn't going to work. I am willing to give it my all but I also understand that my boyfriend is in a tough position.
Thanks,
A
I'm currently dealing with an extremely hard situation. I've been in a relationship for a year now and I know it hasn't been too long, but my boyfriend and I share a beautiful relationship. We understand each other,have always been supportive of each other and most importantly see a future together. However,his parents have been continuously pressuring him to break up with me,mainly because of my religion. I'm baptist and practice Christianity but my dad is a Hindu. Our religious environment at home has always been a supportive one and my parents practice their own faiths. I am involved in both aspects of their faith, however I am more inclined and commonly practice Christianity. His parents want us to end our relationship because he is a Muslim from Dubai and I am an Indian. I know there has always been this animosity between Muslim and Hindus historically, but we live in Canada, where a mosaic of multiculturalism is strongly present. We are probably not the first couple that has endured something like this. I initially faced a similar situation with my parents and but fought relentlessly with my parents because I knew 100% that he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. My parents had threatened to disown me and gave me the option of moving out if I chose to be with him. However, after fighting long and hard the situation simmered down. On his side of the family, they have threatened to disown him and have given him the option to choose between our relationship and his family. He is currently going back to school and has quit his job, making him financially vulnerable and is dependent on his family for financial security. He is not in a position to leave his home and take a stand for our relationship as he has much to complete in order to move on to the next phase of his life, or even to be ready for marriage. Completing his degree by the end of the year and getting a job after that to collect savings has become a priority. I love him very much and so does he. But the situation with him at home has become severe in the sense where his parents continue to pressure him to end things with me. It will be our second year anniversary in 2 days and we have booked a trip for a weekend to get away, but his parents have given him an ultimatum that if he goes on the trip, he should just take his things with him and leave, putting us in a difficult situation. The only solution that I've managed to come up with is for me to disconnect myself with my dad's faith and completely adopt Christianity as my one true faith in order for his family to accept me, as Islam and Christianity are basically built on the same story and principles. I would truly appreciate some advice from anyone that is in my situation or has been. II honestly don't know what to do. I do not want to hide our relationship and want to make things better, I am not going down without a fight. I do not want to stop trying everything only to regret it in the future, before we decide that it isn't going to work. I am willing to give it my all but I also understand that my boyfriend is in a tough position.
Thanks,
A
That is extremely tough. I am in very very similair relationship, except I am the muslim and my boyfriend is free of all the religious trouble and family shaming. we too both are in a strange position, about to complete school in 1 year for me, and he is finishing his EMT training, which basically pays very little. so we dont have enought to financially stable and marry just yet, though we want to for over a year now. my family and parents have put so much pressure on us however, that it is seriously hurting our relationship, to the point after almost 4 years he is ready to give up and walk away from it unless someting flips drastically. SO keep that in mind, the high stress and pressure truly takes a toll between the 2 of you. Be very midful to build a really really strong relationship between you
my point is I understand, even though you are in the reverse.
If he is muslim, and seemingly conservative family, this is tough, and converting is like a small little step up for you in their eyes. They wont accept you by any means if you do convert, but they will probably set it as a condition for minimal acceptance of your relationship. if they will go that far
it will take time. also, dating is super super frowned down upon. so at least getting engaged is a requirement.
you have to ask yourself if you are ready to marry this person after 2 years, if yes, thats great. you two need to talk about getting engaged,
as for the trip, i recommend not pushing it with his parents on things like overnight weekend trips. that sort of thing is really probably so insane to his parents, and i promise it makes them dislike you more and will think unfortunately bad things of you.
honestly, if the thought of that ^ hurt and seemed impossible no to live your life like that,... i get it totally
then you guys have to decide, do you want to have just each other, move out, build a life get a place and slowly work on them
or
try to please them with a lot of reistance, rules, and living according to their standards until you are ready to marry
a year of that seems really difficult no doubt
literally in the same debate myself, the pain, stress, and emotions is so overhwhelming and so much. I wish you th ebest of luck and make sure this guy is worth all the pain . ensure you two are the tightest you can be before going on.
good luck and feel free to reach out to me if you want to talk:)
So, it’s been 3 years for you. How did your love story end?
I’m now in your boat.