I was just reading a post by ebrumm and felt encouraged in the knowledge that I am not alone. This sounds exactly like my husband and I.

When I graduated from highschool and started college, I had extensive knowledge of the bible due to my mother's extremely religous family, and of pragmatic dogma and religious practices, but I had no idea how to use this or had ever heard of a personal relationship with jesus christ. It was not until I went to a christian concert of a local group called "Bunch of Believers" and listened to the lead singer Robert (I wil never forgt this) talk about crawing up into his daddy's (meaning G-d) lap in tims of hurt and alowing G-d to comfort him in times of pain that I had any clue you could have a personal relationship with G-d.

When I met my husband, Matt, he had just dropped out of school to be a minister because the more dogma he learned, the less he believed in religion. And though I loved conversing with him on these interesting matters, because I also had a huge knowledge of theology and dogma, I felt so upset when he would comment on my "silliness" and belief in an "imaginary friend." It eventually wore down my faith in a way that I never thought it could.

I prayed for my husband every day for him to find G-d. Unfortunately, beacuse of my interest in religious philiosphy, I also unwilling participated in his increased lost-ness. I posess many religious texts, including a Quran, Bhagavad Gita, I Ching, and various a-typical christian texts such as a book of mormon along with my books on early christin thought, christian philosophies, and various devotional styled books. My husband indulged himself in his and further develop his ploralistic verion of religion, and only strengthened his developing aggressive attacks on my beliefe. 

I religiously took our children by myself to church on Sundays and taught them Christian values and lessons. This left me feeling many times like I was a single mother because I became the pilliar of our parenting as well as the main "bread winner" for our family, which only wore me down more.

I eventually broke. I became bitter and angry towards G-d and confused as to who caused me to be in the painful place I ended up in.

Unlike other stories, though, mine takes a twist. Right as I am ready to give up on religion and walk away to death, my husband announces he found it again. He still believes in his ploralistic version of religion, just seemed to adapt it to fit Christianity, though. This frustrated me even more, but I am so angry at G-d that I am not the person to help him. Meanwhile we moved, and are looking for a new church, and I worry emencly about how this will affect my children. 

There are no answers here, and there may not be any answers. I often want to tell him "get back from me satan" as Jesus told Peter in Matthew 16:23, but I do not want to lose my husband and I also feel I am not strong enough in Christ to be the person to talk to him about it right no because of the plank in my own eye (Matthew 7:3-5). 

I do want you to know, that I feel more encouraged knowing I am not alone. Maybe together we can eventually help each other through this desert. (Deuteronomy 8:2 & Psalms 107: 4-7)