Ok, so either start doing some diligent CBT methods or go see a doctor, but please do something. You can't keep going on like this, you'll make yourself batshit crazy. Just start with making one step on the path to getting better. But you have to take that step.

Yes Sadie I think I need to do something for myself. This has been one of if not the worst semester I've ever had. Grandma passing away, mom diagnosed with breast cancer, dad having failing knees and hips, my sisters awful life situation(which I've never shared with anyone on here but I could write an essay of it), and of course dealing with the insomnia. I'm honestly thinking its my anxiety that is getting the best of me. Truthfully speaking things fell apart gradually as I stop taking my anxiety medication Seraltrin. I needed to get it refilled and one thing lead to another and it never got filled.

I'm not sure exactly when but I'm possibly going to try to see my regular doctor around thanksgiving next week or more likely(because its hard getting appointments) during my Christmas break. I'm not sure if it's the anxiety that's massively contributing to my insomnia but I'm hoping it is. I'll either go back on Seraltrin or ask him about other day time anxiety medications. It's just frustrating because I think now I acknowledge there's a definite mental problem I have(anxiety) because of how I've observed how I feel.

I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack every day in class. I'm actually pretty smart and good at remembering things but the minute you tell me to talk in front of the class I'll start stammering or forget what I was going to say even though I'm very knowledge on the topic. I don't like the idea (for health reasons, long term reliability, and just refusing to believe I can't conquer this naturally) of having to take medication to control my anxiety but I think it's at the out of control point where I need to stay on it for a while and regroup. It's just crazy how much anxiety takes away from your learning ability. I'm still learning but I actually can say I learned so much when my anxiety was relatively stable. I hope I can get back to that point and start sleeping properly. I have so much opportunity and potential. I've actually got an interview for Monday for a recreation coordinator position and I've worked for their parks department for 2 years so I should have the position locked unless I blow it because of either stupid insomnia or anxiety.

I relate to that. I have come to terms with the fact that I have an anxiety disorder. I just didn't really realize it until the anxiety started creeping in during the day. I made no connection with it and insomnia because I didn't feel anxious. But obviously it was, until recently, repressed and manifesting as insomnia. I also refused to entertain the thought because that would mean there's something wrong with me mentally, and that scares me. But now I have let go and am getting help. I pride myself on being a "together" person on the surface, even though I am not, so it has felt almost humiliating to ask for help. I hope you will start on your anxiety meds again, and that they help you. I think you will do great in life as long as you know what your weaknesses are, and know when to ask for help when you need it. Hugs, Sadie

Hi. I'm new to the group and wanted to jump in and offer some encouragement and understanding. I relate to your post -- to being hardly able to function during the daytime even when sleep is had. I not working this fall, was supposed to be on a sabbatical where I was going to hike and travel and write and do the things I've dreamt of. Instead I suffering with chronic insomnia, weight loss and anxiety. After two months with only a one or two good nights sleep my sleep debt is pretty bad. I dont mind the tiredness as much as when the hopeless/martyr attitude comes on and I feel like I am never going to be able to live a normal life, travel to see family, etc. Instead I am locked alone most of most days. This is as hard as anything I've been through.

I am growing, however. There is just no denying that my resolve and character are growing and with that my ability to stay with the present moment an not obsess on the negative, gloom and dissatisfaction. I sincerely hope that this suffering ends for you and you know joy and can look back at this as a hard chapter of life.

Hang in there.

the main cause of insomnia is of psychological origin 70 is found cases of anxiety and depression; then I suggest you do a bit of meditation to cure anxiety is really effective for your sleep corirger

Well that pattern is GONE. I've been experiencing the most frustrating part of sleep to me. Light sleep. 5 straight days(since I made this post), I've slept about 8-9 hours but it's been light sleep. I haven't have light sleep in forever. The good news is I've done okay despite it. I just tried to be positive and sure enough I made it through the days. It's not refreshing but it's also getting a little deeper the last couple of nights. Don't necessarily know why but I think my anxiety has calmed down a little bit. But from past research I've done, light sleep is associated with depression. I've just been in slow motion the last 5 days. I think the depression stems from a lot of things but it might be improved if A) I get this one job I interviewed for yesterday, B) Start exercising several days per week, C) Fish, explore or something like that for 1 or 2 days a week, D)Get back into art or find a new hobby, and E) Try to do stuff with friends/family or make more friends(BY FAR the hardest for me!). Doing any combinations of these consistently will help. The trick is talking myself into doing them because depression makes you not feel like doing things. Besides that I'm planning on scheduling an appointment with the doctor in December like I mentioned.

You are so smart. You are right about depression. Sometimes you know you are in it, but it's hard to make yourself get out of it. It's good that you are seeing a doctor next month. I hope all goes well.