Insomnia Support Group
Insomnia is a symptom, rather than a disease, and is characterized by inadequate quantity or quality of sleep. People with insomnia complain of difficulty falling or staying asleep, which results in significant impairment of daytime functioning. Insomnia is categorized as transient (shorter than one week), short-term (one to three weeks) or chronic (longer than three...
I'm so delirious from lack of sleep that I don't even know where to start here. For some time I was on Neurontin (for anxiety), which resulted in very interrupted sleep. I have now been off that medication for at least two months. But still, I am having some serious sleep problems, and I'm getting quite worried.
The problem is this: I tend to only stay down for about twenty minutes at a time. And, when I do get some sleep, it's usually only one to two hours at a time. It has not been uncommon for me to be up as long as twenty-four hours, then fall asleep from exhaustion, sleeping well over twelve hours at a time. There have been several occasions when I have slept through an entire day. I have tried various methods to gently coerce myself into a more normal sleep pattern, but to no avail.
Doctors have prescribed me slews of sleep meds, most of which worked, but only for a few weeks, then I develop a tolerance to them. I already take over ten medications, mostly related to my Addison's disease and its satellite complications. I have done a great deal of research to determine whether or not any of them may effect sleep. In general, none of them do.
So what can be causing such a severe problem? I'm clueless. But what I know for certain is that my mental health is seriously suffering because of it. I'm a real homebody (by choice, mostly), so I don't get out much, which I'm sure contributes to the problem. My memory and concentration has gone to sh*t, and I have become extremely irritable and get angered quite easily. Within myself I tend to focus on personal situations in the (recent) past that have made me angry to the point where I have 'arguments' in my head. This escalates to me having violent thoughts about the people (former friends) that I mentally 'argue' with. In a nutshell, lack of sleep has made me fragile, and a fizzing human bomb. This worries me very much.
I should point out that I am not a violent person. I'm usually very easy-going and find myself laughing heartily many times a day. If anything has kept me from cracking, it's my sense of humor. Thank God for that.
Nevertheless, I am very, seriously concerned about my mental state. I know I would never hurt anyone. As for myself, I don't think I would hurt myself, but I sometimes question it. Suicide has always been on my mind, for nearly twenty years now, mostly because of my health issues. Insomnia is just another weight on my shoulders, but a weight that may break me.
I would very much like to know if anyone out there can understand or that may be (or have been) in the same spot. If there is anyone out there, I would like to compare notes and establish some communication here on DS. Please accept my apologies if this post reads disjointed or rambling, but right now this is the only way I know how to explain it. Those of you that made it this far, thank you for reading.
The problem is this: I tend to only stay down for about twenty minutes at a time. And, when I do get some sleep, it's usually only one to two hours at a time. It has not been uncommon for me to be up as long as twenty-four hours, then fall asleep from exhaustion, sleeping well over twelve hours at a time. There have been several occasions when I have slept through an entire day. I have tried various methods to gently coerce myself into a more normal sleep pattern, but to no avail.
Doctors have prescribed me slews of sleep meds, most of which worked, but only for a few weeks, then I develop a tolerance to them. I already take over ten medications, mostly related to my Addison's disease and its satellite complications. I have done a great deal of research to determine whether or not any of them may effect sleep. In general, none of them do.
So what can be causing such a severe problem? I'm clueless. But what I know for certain is that my mental health is seriously suffering because of it. I'm a real homebody (by choice, mostly), so I don't get out much, which I'm sure contributes to the problem. My memory and concentration has gone to sh*t, and I have become extremely irritable and get angered quite easily. Within myself I tend to focus on personal situations in the (recent) past that have made me angry to the point where I have 'arguments' in my head. This escalates to me having violent thoughts about the people (former friends) that I mentally 'argue' with. In a nutshell, lack of sleep has made me fragile, and a fizzing human bomb. This worries me very much.
I should point out that I am not a violent person. I'm usually very easy-going and find myself laughing heartily many times a day. If anything has kept me from cracking, it's my sense of humor. Thank God for that.
Nevertheless, I am very, seriously concerned about my mental state. I know I would never hurt anyone. As for myself, I don't think I would hurt myself, but I sometimes question it. Suicide has always been on my mind, for nearly twenty years now, mostly because of my health issues. Insomnia is just another weight on my shoulders, but a weight that may break me.
I would very much like to know if anyone out there can understand or that may be (or have been) in the same spot. If there is anyone out there, I would like to compare notes and establish some communication here on DS. Please accept my apologies if this post reads disjointed or rambling, but right now this is the only way I know how to explain it. Those of you that made it this far, thank you for reading.
Generally, the anxiety and insomnia go hand in hand. One must deal with anxiety concurrent with dealing with sleep as one exacerbates the other.
Keep in touch.
Steve
I was prescribed the Neurontin specifically for sleep problems and find that it is working. I have only been on it a month. I may find that when I take it long term it may not work as well but I will cross that bridge when I come to it. I do not have an anxiety issue. I was told by my doctor that it is also prescribed for sleeping issues. I was only getting 2 or so hours a night and was desperate before I started it. I am up to sleeping 6 hours at time now. I started out with one 100mg pill at bed time and have slowly increased it to 600 mg at bed time.
I do agree that a good therapist would help you - sometimes just talking out everything can "release" those thoughts and relax you enough to be able to sleep. I went to a therapist just so I could have someone to talk to who would not judge me - no matter what I said. I hope you find something soon that helps. Please let us know what you decide to do as I care.
A note: I eventually did get some sleep, just last night. The only way I got that sleep was because my body couldn't take it any more. I literally collapsed. Despite it not being a good way of getting sleep I do feel rather rested.
Considering that you have Addison's disease I assume that you are being treated with cortisone class med's. I am not quite sure what research you have done or just what your doctors have told you but cortisone is well documented to cause from minor to major insomnia issues and most definitely too - it can wreak havoc with people's moods and lead to severe depression. These are well known, medical facts.
I have total and complete sympathy with you regarding your insomnia too! I know what it feels like to get by on 20 minutes to half an hour night after night and then only occasionally to manage 1, 2 or 3 hours of sleep.
Insomnia most definitely causes memory lapses. Big time! Also medically documented. And lack of sleep, ie not sufficient brain rejuvenation time can also cause anger, anxiety, reaction (or rather dramatic over-reaction) to rear itself in insomniac's lives.
Yours certainly is a really difficult and no doubt traumatic situation for you to live with.
One thing I do know though from painful personal experience is that *any* and *all* medications which we take to 'help us sleep' with X amount of time - once you have built up a tolerance to them - you can take the difficulty you had pre sleeping meds and multiply that a hundred fold or more. I am not trying to be dramatic here but as I have said- I speak solely from personal experience after having taken prescribed sleeping meds for years and years, blissfully unaware of their horrific 'rebound hell'
You say that you are quite a home body. Though I greatly sympathize with the health position you are in, I would really think perhaps it is just time to follow your body's own natural rhythm and if you cannot sleep (been there, still am there) then try to fill those hours with things you enjoy doing rather than getting all steamed up about it which simply kicks up more stress hormones in your blood stream, brain and CNS. And when you do kind of collapse into sleep - even if that means sleeping during the day or through an entire day and night - does it really matter?
The brain really is an amazing organ and when it feels it can no longer function, it simply shuts itself down which is when you go into that total sleep hibernation mode. Tests have shown repeatedly too that for people like you and I - even though we might go for two or three days at a time with what we perceive is zero sleep - if you would have brain electrodes sending out a reading pattern throughout - you can clearly see that the brain shuts down for seconds regularly throughout a 24 hour period as the brain knows how to survive. To my knowledge, though us insomniacs would give ANYTHING for a solid, regular 8 hours a night but no one has ever died yet due to lack of sleep.
I keep on reminding myself that some famous historical characters such as Winston Churchill, one of the Pope's, a famous USA army general (sorry, cannot recall his name right now - lol, due to lack of sleep) - Ghandi and a long list of other folks who lived long and *highly* productive lives - they all slept in 'cat nap' modes, perhaps 20 minutes here and there and on a good night, only and hour or two.
I am not trying to minimize what you are going through. You have so much to deal with but some times in life when we face up to things in life which we just cannot control, perhaps just giving in to 'what is' and trying to live our lives around our own, unique mental and physical challenges is really the only way we can find some peace and acceptance.
Sending you a huge hug. You are still such a wonderfully young man - medical science has never been curing illnesses as quickly as they have been doing in the past two decades so just hang onto the hope that a cure will also be found for Addisons as more and more questions are being answered by way of genetic decoding daily. Take care of yourself......