Insomnia Support Group
Insomnia is a symptom, rather than a disease, and is characterized by inadequate quantity or quality of sleep. People with insomnia complain of difficulty falling or staying asleep, which results in significant impairment of daytime functioning. Insomnia is categorized as transient (shorter than one week), short-term (one to three weeks) or chronic (longer than three...
Hi all,
I just have to vent - my sleep has been so fragile since I moved into a new apartment that I feel I'm going crazy. I was never a sound sleeper, but most nights I was able to sleep fine. On the nights when I couldn't sleep I somehow roughed through the day (since I can't sleep during the day for the life of me) and the next night I would sleep well again, and the whole thing would be forgotten till insomnia visited me next time, which would usually be about 2-3 times a month.
Now, moving from a quiet dark house in the country to an apartment in the city has crippled my already fragile sleep. I wake up too early, usually around 6, and can't go back to sleep. I'm only 30, but I feel like I'm 80. Last night I fell asleep around 3 a.m., only to wake up around 6 a.m. again, and it's freaking Sunday! I'm desperate. I've tried ear plugs, sleep masks, darkening the room and all that.
I sometimes use Valium to help me fall asleep when I go to bed at night, but it does nothing for my early morning awakenings, nor can it put me to sleep during the day. I suppose that is because my sleep drive isn't strong enough then, since I do get some sleep at night and it's enough to keep me awake. At night I'm relaxed, during the day I'm tense when I try to sleep, I don't know why, it's always been like this.It's horrible not being able to make up for your lost sleep at least a little with a nice power nap.
I don't know what to do anymore. I am not a worrier, I do not have "racing thoughts" and "worries about tomorrow's deadlines" keeping me awake, I just have trouble falling and now STAYING asleep, to the point where it officially isn't an exception anymore but the norm.
I'm hiding my insomnia from everybody except my wife to the best of my abilities, though I doubt that it doesn't show. And now I'm ready to throw in the towel and come clean about it to my doctor. There have got to be some sleeping pills she can give me. (Valium I have for my epilepsy, and it helps with nighttime insomnia , too, but I want something that can put me asleep even in the morning or during the day).
Does anybody have any advice? How do you cope with this constant exhaustion? I'm almost crying as I'm typing this, and I'm a grown freaking man.
One is your post does express worry -- at least about the idea of sleep. You may not be a "worrier" overall, but you should consider that your stress about sleep is a factor -- and one that you can control.
Second is I think you are right about your sleep drive. You can try some sleep consolidation ideas to help with this. The key method here is consistency with wake time. If you're getting up at 6 go with it. But be consistent every day, regardless of how sleep deprived you may feel, because that is setting you up for a better night following.
The fact that you "can't nap" you can use to your advantage, as that removes the risk of in effect stealing sleep from the subsequent night.
Also try to keep a consistent bed time 7 days a week. Set it at whatever is normal, but if you don't feel drowsy, stay up. But do something sedentary and relaxing until you feel drowsy. Watch for signs of drowsiness like yawning. Then go to bed.
Stay consistent with this and over time your sleep system should strengthen, and best part -- without drugs! And without the nasty side effects either.
What I've described here are several methods from CBT sleep training that I personally use, including sleep hygiene and sleep restriction therapy. CBT also includes cognitive restructuring to put a stop to the negative worrisome thoughts as well. If you are the self-help type, you'll find lots of good info online on CBT sleep training for adults, including full blown online programs.
Good luck.
thank you for such a well put response. You clearly know a lot about this issue.
You are spot on about me being a worrier about sleep. The thought "will I sleep tonight or not" is always somewhere in the back of my mind, especially through the working week. That's why insomnia that hits me on the weekend hits me twice as hard.
The inability to nap has its advantages, no doubt. That is the reason why on most nights I am able to fall asleep (or pass out, to be more precise) , despite the worry. But the maintenance issues are a pain, and on the days when both sleep onset and sleep maintenance problems coincide I feel like the most wretched creature on the planet.
I already follow some of the CBT advice (I don't sleep in during the weekend, I don't nap although I would often like to,..), but I haven't yet tried getting up when I can't sleep and doing something else until I feel sleepy again. I feel like actively doing so much to sleep will result in more worry. But I've heard a lot of good experiences about it, so I might give it a try one day.
Thanks for helping me see the silver lining in my perdicament. I'm glad you found relief in CBT. We all have to fight this in our own ways.