Insomnia Support Group
Insomnia is a symptom, rather than a disease, and is characterized by inadequate quantity or quality of sleep. People with insomnia complain of difficulty falling or staying asleep, which results in significant impairment of daytime functioning. Insomnia is categorized as transient (shorter than one week), short-term (one to three weeks) or chronic (longer than three...

Maybe trying some medication would be worth it. You don't have to take it all the time. Just two or three days in a row when you're having problems, then don't touch it again for a few weeks.
Also, have you tried melatonin pills?
The Xanax will give you relief. Yes, it's important not to get strung out on it, but it's worth taking just for a few nights in a row if you're really having bad problems.