Hang in there! I suffered from insomnia for a good portion (about 6 mos) a few years ago and I went through the same stuff. I even had to stop sleeping in my own bed altogether because I had developed such an association of not sleeping in my bed. I slept on the couch until I was ready to try the bed again (MONTHS later) and even then I had a back up plan to go back to the couch if it wasn't working out. Long story short....I sleep perfectly fine now in my bed with my hubby. However....I remember the anxiety I'd start to feel come late afternoon/dinner time. The closer it got to bed time the more anxious I'd feel....and I'd worry too. Do not get discouraged. You can never really know how your night will go.....but the blessing of our sickness is that every day presents another opportunity to be cured!

One small suggestion I'll make (because I don't want to overwhelm you with all the stuff I could suggest...) is to get a cheap journal and about an hour before you plan to go bed write in the journal EVERYTHING you're worried about. Even if all you write is...."I'm afraid tonight will be another sleepless night" write that 20X or 50X or wheverX or till you're totally sick of writing it. Write anything (large or small) that is bothering you, worrying you, concerning you. Get as much of it as you can out of your head and on to the paper. When you're done, store the book in a room you don't sleep in.

I'll try to check back to see if there is anything else I can do to help or support you. I know it's hard to accept---but I really believe things will get better. Hang on to HOPE!

If you need a pick me up....listen to this song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9yNZ17j8Fg

It's going to be alright.
~Brook