INFIDELTY RELATIONSHIPS AND SHATTERED DREAMS Community Group
This is a place to share the heartbreaks and recovery of broken and shattered dreams from adultry infidelity and other relationship situations. Tell your stories here. you can also tell about relationships you wish to have someday. Tell us how you have survived. This is a place to share the pain and also your recovery from this most traumatic ordeal.
I used to not understand why anyone would ever cheat on their spouse and then several years ago, my spouse suddenly wanted nothing intimate to do with me. I bought sexy lingerie, practically begged, you name it, and went to be sooooooooooo many nights in tears and rejected. I felt worthless, ugly, and began to gain weight because I no longer cared how I appeared.
My self-esteem went below the ground and I was miserable. The loneliness was unbearable; however, you can't talk about this subject to just anyone. So, I cried in silence. Meanwhile, I pretended like everything was great, especially around our kids. I would mention it to him, he ignored the subject or would get angry. I begged him to go and see a doctor. He did nothing for the longest time.
That's when I started to build up a wall and see us for how he made me see us: roommates. That's when I realized how affairs happen. People like me who are affectionate, like to have sex, and are lonely are able to cross the line, despite their moral convictions, if given the right person with whom they trust and have a strong connection/relationship. I never knew that before.
I remain lonely. I fantasize constantly. But I remain in silence at my home. I'm beyond the begging stage now. I think of us as roommates but close roommates. Oddly enough, we still sleep in the same bed.........I think for the kids' sake. I've learned that there are a lot of marriages out there just like us. That's sad for me to hear.
I've since gained my self-esteem as a woman as much as possible. I need to find a job to complete the process. I lost all of the weight and I've never been in better shape. I feel great about that, whether anyone at my home notices or not. I exercise regularly now because I care about me more and I watch the junk food that I eat.
I'm not sure why all couples have affairs....but I certainly can understand this particular situation. I couldn't before. I guess you have to be in the shoes of the sexless partner.
Intimate rejection is a lousy way to live when you're supposed to be married. I know............I live this way.
My self-esteem went below the ground and I was miserable. The loneliness was unbearable; however, you can't talk about this subject to just anyone. So, I cried in silence. Meanwhile, I pretended like everything was great, especially around our kids. I would mention it to him, he ignored the subject or would get angry. I begged him to go and see a doctor. He did nothing for the longest time.
That's when I started to build up a wall and see us for how he made me see us: roommates. That's when I realized how affairs happen. People like me who are affectionate, like to have sex, and are lonely are able to cross the line, despite their moral convictions, if given the right person with whom they trust and have a strong connection/relationship. I never knew that before.
I remain lonely. I fantasize constantly. But I remain in silence at my home. I'm beyond the begging stage now. I think of us as roommates but close roommates. Oddly enough, we still sleep in the same bed.........I think for the kids' sake. I've learned that there are a lot of marriages out there just like us. That's sad for me to hear.
I've since gained my self-esteem as a woman as much as possible. I need to find a job to complete the process. I lost all of the weight and I've never been in better shape. I feel great about that, whether anyone at my home notices or not. I exercise regularly now because I care about me more and I watch the junk food that I eat.
I'm not sure why all couples have affairs....but I certainly can understand this particular situation. I couldn't before. I guess you have to be in the shoes of the sexless partner.
Intimate rejection is a lousy way to live when you're supposed to be married. I know............I live this way.
A husband who really loves his wife (or vice-versa) would be understanding, ask questions, be sympathetic and even offer to seek help for intimacy/sex issues instead of running out and screwing someone else. It's called marriage...you know, when a promise is made to be faithful "In good times and bad." It pisses me off that people blame affairs on problems in the marriage. Affairs are about selfishness and a lack of respect.
I am hoping to triumph in the divorce financially. He never contributed financially at all in the least, but is trying to take my inheritance so he can keep the prostitute by his side. She is only interested in money it seems.
That fact hurts so much. He has lefty me for this creature and his addiction. All I can have as a goal for my pathetic remaining and hopefully short life now is keeping him from taking my money and giving it to her. That's it. I have nothing left of my dreams now, just the wish to foil this predatory old prostitute and her foolish hate-filled tool. I can't believe my life has become so small painful and empty.
This is what adultery does. It ruins lives and rots souls.
Tell your husband he needs to address your issues or you will divorce him. Don't get led down the path my husband has taken.
I don't mean to hijack this post. What I am saying here is that I understand how Sad feels. I want to be wanted by the man I love too. But it's not happening here. I don't intend to cheat either, but I can certainly see how it could happen. If someone were to start paying attention to us who have been shunned, it would be like giving water to a very thirsty person! Everyone needs and wants to be desired one way or another. It's a need that is not being met in the relationships we are in. We would like it to be. We have tried to find ways to make that happen, but it's just not happening. Yes, communication is a huge part of it as well. We send out signals only to be shut down and rejected. It's so very sad that in the beginning of our marriages and relationships, we were all able to communicate great. Something got broke over the time and even when you try to fix it, if both parties are not willing to contribute to fixing it, it just won't get fixed ever. I am married 23 years. I wish that my husband wasn't rejecting me. He turned to cheating because I rejected him. Maybe he would have anyway, it's hard to say. I don't know for sure. He may have been cheating for years prior to this and I don't know. I just know that if I were to start getting attention from someone whether it be my husband or otherwise, I would want to suck it up because I NEED to feel wanted. I don't want to cheat and I'm not going out looking to cheat, but I do want to be wanted. I get it Sad, I really do! HUGS to you and hang in there.