Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
How do you handle or explain to your childern , that a Spouse has another on the side, or ? are they old enough to pick up on what's going on between Mom & Dad ? i mean do they resent the other Parent? , my wifes 1st afiar was in 95 my son was 8 , her daughter was 12 , the 2nd one was 7-8 yrs ago ( I'm having issues on letting this one go ) and now they are adult's.. the kids i beleive now show some resentment towards their mother , specially our son when she came home yrs ago with her co-worker afair and said to me one friday , " i care about you , but i don't love you " , he was in his early 20's in his room 8ft from the living room (Ranch style home ) and said to his Mother " what did you just say to him ? she replied go back in your room its none of your business ) Although that's the night she was going to ask for a divorce to be with her " lover who made her feel good " .. So? what you tell your childern when their old enough to understand and ask questions
As for what we told our kids, we used the same reasoning and judgment as when we talked about violence, sex, religion, politics, or any other sensitive subject. We gave them only the basics in an age-appropriate way and then answered their questions honestly and directly if they had any. If they didn't want to talk about it, we didn't push the issue. I was careful not to tear down my husband's character (or the OW's), but rather just share facts.
Kids can tell when something is up, and they'll use their imagination to fill in the blanks, so it's best to fill them in for them. Fear and anxiety can create filled-in stories that are much worse than the truth. Again, ugly things grow in the dark.
Now... all that said: there are absolutely reasons NOT to expose an affair - especially if it jeopardizes the health and wellness of anyone involved - including kids. There should also be a logical, calm, and mutually agreed upon exposure. One partner crap-talking the other isn't the way to do it.
For more on exposure, I'd encourage you to check out Dr. Harley's thoughts on the matter: https://www.marriagebuilders.com/when-should-an-affair-be-exposed.htm