Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Hello-
If there are any newly anointed souls into the hell that is infidelity, I hope I've gotten to you soon.
There is some bad advice out there when you've found your spouse is having an affair and the worst is "to take the wait and see approach."
Please read this article
http://www.chumplady.com/2015/08/worst-infidelity-advice/
You need to treat this like the crisis it is. Now is not the time to sit and wait. Now is the time to take action.
If there are any newly anointed souls into the hell that is infidelity, I hope I've gotten to you soon.
There is some bad advice out there when you've found your spouse is having an affair and the worst is "to take the wait and see approach."
Please read this article
http://www.chumplady.com/2015/08/worst-infidelity-advice/
You need to treat this like the crisis it is. Now is not the time to sit and wait. Now is the time to take action.
I went to therapy so I would not be doing anything stupid. Turns out I was following the Stupid Things Betrayed Spouses Do Playbook, handed to me by the therapist(s).
My H was following his version of the Cheater's Handbook.
It was only after I read the Chump Lady's book that I saw things as they are.
SHE is my therapist now.
I confronted my H about the A. He said he ended it and he promised to go No Contact. He didn't. He just got sneakier. I was worried this was going to happen. Neither the T nor the MC ever brought this up.
The Chump Lady pretty much tells us to expect this. I was so longing for security, for the pain to stop. I was so optimistic. STUPID!
I really wish I had known about her first and asked the T and MC to read her, too.
I went through more pain, more wasted time, more false hope than I needed to by listening to "conventional wisdom".
It's simple: Cheaters cheat because they want to. They feel entitled.
They will blame us, but that's just an excuse. If your spouse is cheating with random people, that's a separate issue. In my case, he was/is cheating with someone who was after him. This advice about not worrying about the affair partner is stupid. The A must be outed, not to the world necessarily, but keeping it quiet just keeps it alive.
I don't know exactly what direction my life will take, but I do know I see things more clearly now. I will be making decisions based on what is best for me. Thank you to the Chump Lady.