Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Really could use someone to talk to. I've been married to my wife for 11 years and with her for 17. We have two young children. She has been involved in a 2 year affair, mostly emotional / long distance but also physical at times and now she has all but left me for her lover. First Strike: In early 2019 I caught her initially, after her initial 11 month affair, and we worked through it as best we could and she promised it was over. Second Strike: Then in early 2020 I caught her talking/texting to him again on the phone etc to which she apologized and said it would never happen again. Third Strike: In November I discovered that when she had been "going out with a friend" each time for weeks she was actually physically with him -- turns out he actually moved into our area and now she is physically seeing him every few days and spending all weekend with him. "Why are you still with her and why havent you left her yet?"... because I don't want to crush our two young children's seemingly perfect lives and because I tried. I really tried. And I am so tired. Looking for suggestions as well as someone willing to take me under their wing and help me. I have been in a 2 year downward spiral since this began. Our family and friends don't know that this has happened. I've lost myself and I am slipping away.
So we only know what you write here, so we can only voice our opinion and its just that our opinion.
So listen... YOU CAN NOT CHANGE HER..... NEVER. read it again out loud, I dare you.
So lets stop focusing on her, and talk about you. What are your daily habits? How do you take care of yourself? How do you treat yourself? Do you eat right? Do you exercise right? Do you pray, properly? Do you love yourself? Do you enjoy your work/career? Do you tell yourself you love yourself? Do you think you are worthy of love? Do you think you are worth respect? Do you respect yourself? What are your hobbies? Who are your friends? What are your boundaries?
I suggest you get a journal, and write every one of those questions down and then write out the answer.
Stop fooling yourself the children know exactly what is going on and taking it all in as to how to live in a marriage.
I would love to read your response to all the questions above.
As a serial cheating addict, with 10 months of sobriety, I know why I acted out, how I acted out, what kept me acting out, and NONE of it was because my wives, GFs, or acting out partners. It was always about myself. No one could ever fix me, no even me, and I tried many times.
I pray you are safe and healthy. Thank you for sharing.
You feel helpless bcz she’s running the game. She has already destroyed the kids’ family life. It’s not your fault. Take steps to protect yourself, your assets, the kids, and your reputation . Realize she will try to put it on you somehow so expose her affair (not to the kids though).
Too many good guys let the cheating wife off the hook. As soon as you take positive action you will immediately feel better; no longer out of control.
Small steps towards pulling yourself back up are wins so embrace them.
Your children will see your strength and be drawn more to you for it.
This sucks and I wish you the best. Go look up my posts and you’ll see you’re not alone and you CAN do this!
Respect yourself. Make a plan.. get custody.. find a way
Out her and her behavior to everyone. It will help everyone see things very clearly. Her included. She will make her decision. Do not leave your home. Do not remove your children from your home.
Your kids will hear things about their mom .. put it in a way they understand. Not graphic.
Good luck