Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
You know what I noticed with a lot of these post? Everybody want's to gather all the evidence to decide weather there spouse is going to be faithful or not. Was it a 1 time thing? Have they learned there lesson? Are they going to be faithful to me and only me or is this destined to happen again?
Epically with all the online and texting cheaters. Lets face it technology is everywhere and makes all this cheating extremely easy and easy to hide from us.
Why haven't any of us banded together to get the evidence for each other? We are everywhere! Do you think your husband/wife would suspect you are having them set up from other states?
It's relatively easy. Text/email each others spouses. Will they or will they not take the bait? Proof of infidelity is then crystal clear.
Epically with all the online and texting cheaters. Lets face it technology is everywhere and makes all this cheating extremely easy and easy to hide from us.
Why haven't any of us banded together to get the evidence for each other? We are everywhere! Do you think your husband/wife would suspect you are having them set up from other states?
It's relatively easy. Text/email each others spouses. Will they or will they not take the bait? Proof of infidelity is then crystal clear.
Other than that sounds like a great idea especially when it's difficult to get info.
Think about it, people give there spouses another chance. How do you know they really learned there lesson? That there really going to stay faithful? Maybe they just got better at lying and hiding the truth.
In theory there is only one way to know for sure. A cheating spouse can tell you what ever they think you want to hear. Truth is actions speak louder then words, and always will
The answer is not in "catching" or entrapping them, it is in the fact of whether they ON THEIR OWN, sought professional help to change their entitlement issues and wanted to now be a different person who exhibits character and ethics.
The only way to achieve that is to back off and observe. If you meddle and try to sprinkle loads of reconciliation pixie dust on them to make them and your marriage all better, expect another affair. If you try controlling, in any way, the rebuilding of your relationship, it will eventually fail, because your CS has always been a cheating spouse and always will be unless they WANT to change. That change has to be internally driven, not externally controlled and manipulated by you.
If you want to buy books, go to counseling, etc do it for you ALONE. No saying....hey, honey, I think you should read this really good article or let's live by this theory. That is externally driven and teaches them what you want to hear, it does not fix their attitude or thoughts. They may be able to fake it awhile and make you purr with reconciliation delight, but nothing has changed in their core beliefs.
A change in character from an entitled and unethical person takes a lot of time, professional help and a deep internal desire. Frosting over a burnt cake may make it look better, but it will still taste horrible. Controlling a rebuilding in ANY way, is frosting a burnt cake. Get ready to take a bite of nastiness if you are the one to make MC appointments, buy books, encourage behaviors, etc. because the only way to fix a burnt cake is to rebake it. The CS has to bake their own cake, stop parenting them into what you want them to be, they are who they are until THEY decide to change.
Work on you. Go to your own counselor, set goals, have a life that does not depend on them for happiness. That is called a healthy relationship. Stop the dysfunction. Stop frosting your burnt cake and admit that it needs rebaking.