Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Over Christmas this year, I discovered that my husband of 22 years was having an affair with a co-worker. same line of work, different city. he was visiting this place on business. I saw messages on his iphone after he became falling down drunk at our Christmas party, and was acting strange the whole night. Left it on his night stand, and uncharacteristic of me I checked it. There was unerased history between he and this other woman and the topic was obvious. Long story short, I confronted him, he admitted it had been going on for a month, but I suspect he knew her before and this had been planned out. He left me the end of January after several painful and half hearted attempts to work through/reconcile. He has moved to this other city, taken a new job same place as his girlfriend, rented an apartment, and wants me to buy him out of our marital home so he can "find himself" again and buy a fixer-upper to flip. I have been arranging everything. He still has lots of his stuff here, which I know he is legally entitled to keep here, and we have yet to sign a separation agreement which he wanted, and it needs to be in place before I can give him his money.
I am floundering through the days. The pain is so intense it takes my breath away. I have lost over 25 pounds, and can't seem to put any weight back on, I pine for him, even though I know he has moved on. He checked out of the relationship months before and was ready with a girlfriend in the wings. I am trying to get angry but can't seem to get that going. I feel so lost and alone. Will this get any easier? please help.
I am floundering through the days. The pain is so intense it takes my breath away. I have lost over 25 pounds, and can't seem to put any weight back on, I pine for him, even though I know he has moved on. He checked out of the relationship months before and was ready with a girlfriend in the wings. I am trying to get angry but can't seem to get that going. I feel so lost and alone. Will this get any easier? please help.
For now "fake it till ya make it" do what you enjoy, find a friend you can confide in, look for a counselor, come here, and take good care of your health. Getting over betrayal is a long painful process that is different for each person. The fact that he left to be with her adds to it. If it makes you feel any better, chances are, they won't make it.
Are there children? Is she married? If so does her spouse know?
If there are kids, please do what you canto take care of them.
I know it seems like the pain will never end but in time as you heal, it will lessen greatly.
It is the anger that I would LOVE to get ahold of,, where is it??? I don't get this,, if I told you how callous and cruel and selfish he treated me through the 30 days that we were "deciding" it would blow you away. I should be full of RAGE, but I just seem to struggle.
I agree about the legal stuff and crap. I am waiting to hear back from him re the sep agreement, I sent him the draft, and he actually emailed me once he got it and wanted to discuss over the phone. I refused. it had all the principles in it that we had already agreed on I just think the 'official' document threw him off. I'm not sure.
His stuff will go eventually and sits mostly in boxes in the garage.
We had no kids,, so no collateral damage there,, thank God.
This wasn't a decision you arrived at together - you were dumped.
It is so much harder on you this way.
Talk to a therapist. This is going to be a process for you. You will get past the pain. Things will improve for you once you do.
What I did was every day I set some goals for myself. Some were simple like walking the dog (!) but I was a basket case and at times, that was all I could handle. It helped me to have a purpose. I finally reached a place where I knew I could let my H go. He was going through his own crap and in the end we did stay together. He did so much damage though and practically destroyed me.
It's so unfair. They are the messed up ones, and we get hurt. This is just how it is. We have to be strong. We have to know, to believe that
something better is out there for us.
Release the pain. Release the control he has over you and your emotions. Don't be afraid to out the cheaters. Claim your life back.
You will be fine. The sooner you get him out of your life, the better your life will be.