Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
So last night HUGE disscussion..its was decided last week after 20 yrs of marriage,4 kids, 3 1/2 yrs past DD this isn't working. It was him actually because he is aware I will never get over it...this is no way for him to live..ya know,all the questions an stuff..anyway..he set out some pretty crazy expectations..like he would come to our home every night after work to help kids with homework,we would pool our money to help both of us get by..apparently he thinks I have no brain.Well,I said really nothing that nite..out of words..but last nite I told him that will not be the way it will be..he will have set days with girls,it will be my money and then his money and when I mentioned child support he hit the roof. Since I will be making more money,he won't be able to do it on his own..hence the pooling money idea..I guess I should pay him..well,thats when the whole I'm going to kill myself kicked back in. This has been an ongoing threat for at least 5 yrs..he has informed me he will get a pistol permit and shot himself. He said the phone number to aquire the permit is in his phone....I could use thoughts and suggestions on what to do.
Just asking, because if there are already means in the home, then this is clearly more of a manipulative threat. If there are no means, then the jury is out on if he would actually do it if backed up against the wall.
That being said, it would not be your fault, he is backing himself up against that wall.
Is he working with a therapist? If so I would call in to that therapist and give them this information, even though they will not talk back to you.
Suicide by gun is the way most males do it, and successfully at that.
Check out this thread, it will knock your socks off:
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=431837
Whatever you do, refuse to let him have a loaded gun in the house. If he goes to get a pistol and conceal permit, document what he said and tell the department that grants the permits.
If he actually gets a gun and brings it home, move out ASAP.
You just never know what an otherwise rational person will do in the heat of the moment.
And then he'll have to deal with the consequences of his behavior, which might include only supervised visits with your kids. Only 10% of the people who threaten suicide actually go through with it, so odds are good he's just bluffing.
Sometimes the overall odds hide pockets of higher risk.
...as in time with your kids. Let your attorney know that he's threatened this multiple times and personally, I would be concerned as HELL for the welfare of my kids alone with him.
Ask for supervised visitation.
He's off his damned rocker.
L~