Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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Verbal lashing out at cheating spouse

npdhubby
npdhubby
Has anyone used words to verbally cut down their cheating spouse after finding out about the affair, even years later when they remember how they were hurt by the affair? Right after the discovery, I think I called my WS some unprintable names, and the skank too. But lately, after finding out that their affair was also physical, I said something to him about how I felt, and it hurt him so bad, he actually cried(not something that he does,even at dad's funeral)For some reason, I didn't feel bad about what I said, but a few days later, I wrote him a letter apologizing for what I said and attributed the words to the pain I was feeling at the time.
Aronia
Aronia
I never yelled or cursed at my husband. However, IF I did, I damn sure would not appologize.
You are too nice that you even acknowledge what they feel after they screwed up your life.
Who cares? Poor crocodile tears...
Worry about how you feel, because they sure didn't care when they were ..... each other.

I hope you find happiness and peace again.
Best wishes! :)
Lstecker
Lstecker
Ahhh, don't kick yourself too hard for blowing a gasket every once in a while. We are all human. This is too much, at times, for reasonable consumption.

Yes, I remember loosing my temper a time or two with my Ex. I admit it. You caught me. On the one hand, I felt bad for doing it. On the other hand, and I came to this realization after I moved out and divorced him, why shouldn't he see how his actions hurt me? Why shouldn't he see the level of devastation his dirty little game laid in his path? And he thought he was having fun? why shouldn't he see what his fun cost me and his kids? Why should I coddle him?

Screw that.

I don't feel guilty for doing that. In fact, I wish I would have unloaded the old proverbial truck on him a few more times for good measure...


:)
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh yes I made this mistake too, but I feel I deserved it, and if he had not heard my pain he would not have understood what he put me through. It is this that I think keeps him from cheating on me again, so I would not take it back.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Nope...don't feel bad! I didn't say anything that wasn't true. I was much more reserved when I found out about the first OW. The second one...not so much.
Lstecker
Lstecker
joybean, LOL...I read your post and laughed -- I wasn't reserved with the first one and with the second? I quite calmly got an attorney.

:)
rel8
rel8
Right after d-day for a few months, I called my H so many horrible names and talked about how his respect for me was nothing and I laid the blame on him heavily.

I have never apologized. I never will. He took my heart, stabbed it with a fine needle, slowly. He realized how bad I felt and he cried too.

Do not apologize for venting on the person who crushed your soul.

I'm 17 months past d-day and our relationship is the best it's ever been. I would never say those things to him again but he realizes why I said them before.

The un-remorseful, blaming, selfish, easy, OW is another story...