Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
We have been married for 17 years. I am his 3rd marriage and the other 2 ended for infidelity and he has not been able to be faithful.
The last thing he was doing marriage counseling, and now he is dating the therapist. I asked to move out but he does not move out and this is my house. I filed for divorce. He said he is looking for a place to move out, but I know is not true. I have not family here and is very hard when he is not around. I need to end this but I don't know how, because I still love him, and my heart wants him home believing his lies, and my brain is telling how an idiot I am taking all this abuse and let it him to take advantage of me. The sooner I get out of this, the sooner I can start my new life. Please help me.
Just moving on and giving him all the chances just so he's still with you may be the easiest choice but it will only hurt you more in the long run. I'd say give him a deadline on how much longer he can stay in the house. He needs to find another place to stay. Do you have a job? Where is your family?
He was never a decent guy but you married him and still love him and want him to back.
He also sounds like a deadbeat and a mooch.
While he may be charming I would suggest that you may be too easily swayed by words and charm.
A counselor would be helpful to help build a better self esteem and reduce your codependency issues. This will also help you avoid guys like this in the future.
My advice regarding your husband is kick him out ASAP without discussion and go no contact with him until the divorce is finalized.
You also need to call the therapist's licensing board and make a complaint because she has had a serious ethical breach.
Then you need to find your own therapist.
Talk to your lawyer, but you should be able to pack up your H's stuff and put it in the garage. Then tell your H he can come pick it up or you will donate it all. Change the locks, too. But do check with your lawyer to see if it's legal for you to do this.
Get out of this marriage as soon as you can. It's toxic and impeding your road to good mental health.
You only think you love him. How could you love someone who treats you like yesterday's garbage? It's ridiculous. Snap out of it and get help.
Go no contact with your cheater and let all communication go through your lawyer. Get tested for STDs. Go see a reputable therapist on your own to help you sort through this. You think you love your cheater but you really love who you thought he was. He turned out to be someone else.
PLEASE report this therapist to the licensing board!!!
And since you are already committed to leaving but may need some bolstering on how to go the distance, visit Chumplady.com
You will find archives that are educational about this type of personality and the forums there are supportive and helpful for those who have decided to end their relationship. There are thousands there who have stood where you are right now and can give you the benefit of their experience. Good luck!
your heart loves his mask
he is a scumbag
he will only mess you up more
he will only stay with you long enough to use you up
he does not love you
he chooses to damage you
He has ruined multiple marriages and likely relationships via cheating. He simply has little to no moral compass or empathy.
He will say whatever he can to get what he wants, A charming snake.
Beloved the first statement is not true. We have all done things that we are not proud of and we have all in one way or another held on wanting so badly for things to "change." I applaud your courage for sharing and wanting help. I held back so much in my younger years because I was ashamed and thought I was the only person being "beaten" by her boyfriend. Like you, I had no where to go. Thank you for being completely honest here.
The very last sentence cause my heart to leap for joy! Very soon, you'll be on the road to recovery. YOU are stronger on the inside and once it starts to spill over...each day will get better and better. It will take some time to recover from his betrayal, but there is a beautiful life ahead for you! Go the distance and do the hard things required to move forward "without" him. You will be in my prayers.