You do not have to forgive your wife for cheating. She needs to apologize and be remorseful. In addition she needs to work hard to earn back your trust. It is her job to make you feel better. She broke your marriage contract and she need to repair it.

You have every right to insist that she change jobs and feel free to contact the punk kid and tell him exactly what you think of him. I suppose you could take it even further and have your wife go to HR and say she was sexually harassed by this guy. I say do what you need to do to get rid of him.

I would insist that your wife see a therapist because since she clearly has issues, she will cheat again. Cheaters tend to lie in marriage counseling.
You should have a session or two with her T so he can see you for himself and not just through her filter.

One thing cheaters do understand is consequences so do not be afraid to deliver up your demands. She has to let you track her, you should have access to her phone, etc. She should do all this willingly.

You might talk to a lawyer, too, just so you know your rights and responsibilities.

You will begin to feel better once you see your W worry about you and make you her priority.

Well I insisted my wife quit her job where she works with the other kid she cheated on me with, at first she didn’t say anything and I didn’t push it, I told her if she couldn’t try to find another job and leave that place it would be easier for me to try to move on and deal with the pain of losing her then to live in the hell everytime she went to that place, I told her I would respect her decision and live with the consequences, so I checked her phone after she slept and I seen she was talking to her friend and explained my ultimatum to her and she told her friend she was going to choose her job over our marriage, I’m sitting here trying to figure out where it all went wrong, I’m angry that the person I love more then myself at times could choose employment at a deli over the 10+ years of memories we made, I know I’m life EVERYTHING changes but I’m so crushed, I gave my heart to someone who could crush it over working in a F$&KING DELI! She’s gonna be hella mad when she finds out I’m on to her future set plans, like she wants to get into sober living after she gets enuff money to get car insurance and registration for her car, so what then she just gets up and leaves me and our son high and dry for DELI WORK?!? Ugh, I have to get some self respect back for myself, I have to look in the mirror and see the good person I am but it’s SOOO FUCKING EASY to say it, but realizing it is a MFer, thanks for listening to my rant...
cb

Cheaters don't respect their spouses or care for their well being.

If that changes there is a chance and it is obvious if they aren't making that choice.

Your wife won't leave a deli job for the marriage or your child. That is quite telling of who she wants to continue to be.

I pretty much harassed my wife’s coworker and mutual friend enough that she fired my wife and no longer talks to us because my wife was sleeping with another coworker (who knew of me and our marriage but stepped in anyway).
It’s been 1 year and 4 months since my Dday. I’m going through a rough patch emotionally which is why I find myself here again. We’re still together however the sex has died down again. I’m feeling more and more distant from her and I cringe now sometimes when she leans in for a kiss. I was pining and pining for my marriage to be saved after I found out about her affair but lately I’m wondering if I made the right decision to stay. I’ve lost some self respect I feel. I’ve also lost a handful of friends who did not agree with my decision to stay and work it out. We have 2 boys. I didn’t want them to have a split family because of my wife’s indiscretions. She is remorseful and tells me she loves me every day however at times I feel hollow and indifferent.

Your wife needs to meet my wife and go to Starbucks..... you and I need to chat.......going through it myself....it sucks it really does hurt the anger the betrayal ......yep I will never ever cheat is what my wife told me. Only to find that not only was she lying about but she had our seven year old lying about it to. No daddy we are shopping just me and mommy....
No daddy no one is here at the house just mommy and me.....ohhh that’s when I drew the line.....her attitude toward me changed first which was a dead giveaway couldn’t wait till I was out of town always rushing me.....so with that I am unhappy however I had to refocus reset my brain train of thought ......my daughter comes first and the lawyers will be second. The reconciliation and if we Devorce I still want to be friends comment drew the line.... you have to refocus go work out at the gym be amazed what 30 days will do for you... my wife noticed and said wow you look great....the emotions are a rollercoaster......first your down then up then down.......I pray yours has a bettter outcome than mine......but I’m serious hit the gym go run the stress will hit you so hard that it will affect everyone around you work friends family ......seek a guys night out if possible be with friends .....get with family....seek counseling if you want....don’t bottle it up let your emotions be heard but not yelled tell her what you feel ....why you feel...the way you do communication is key......I pray that your outcome is better than mine......I feel like I talk to a brick wall....majority of the time....I know it’s over between my wife and I but I have do do something....for the sake of our daughter

Let me ask a question, so when your thinking all those horrible thoughts about your significant others betrayal does your mind relive what you think their betrayal was like? Like something can can send me down a terrible path is picturing the faces my wife would make when she reaches climax, and like I feel like THAT FACE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MINE! I know that might sound possessive but I made a vow that I would be ok with her V would be the last V I would have in life and now some punk ass young boy got to see that face, it might be petty but that makes me sick to my stomach.

These thoughts will come from time to time and less often and intense as time goes on. Probably never go away completely but some things that will trigger that thought will decrease or no longer associate with the affair.

My wife proactively remove triggers like old photos of us, old gifts I gave her, etc.

She accept that I will never look or feel the same about her but she wants to work to get as much as she can back.

You can forgive her and not hold it against her in terms of how you treat her, but neither of you will every forget what she did or regain that innocence again.

"Let me ask a question, so when your thinking all those horrible thoughts about your significant others betrayal does your mind relive what you think their betrayal was like? Like something can can send me down a terrible path is picturing the faces my wife would make when she reaches climax, and like I feel like THAT FACE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MINE! I know that might sound possessive but I made a vow that I would be ok with her V would be the last V I would have in life and now some punk ass young boy got to see that face, it might be petty but that makes me sick to my stomach."

she is making the face any man or woman would make when they orgasm Chuckybotts...betrayal sucks and my W cheated also but one thing to learn here is quit putting her on a pedestal....she is NOT yours, you have to realize she is her own person and she can make her own decisions w/o considering the impact on you...pretty much any human can do that.
You have to grieve the loss of your exclusivity and innocence.....it sucks but is a loss and you need time to process it and accept it, it will take time but you will come out a wiser person...
Dont supress the thoughts, that doesnt work...let them flow and feel your pain, is normal, you arent alone, it happens to everyone betrayed....in time you will admit this was all her poor choices and you will never see her the same way again, and neither should you put another spouse on a pedestal again ever, it will oinly hurt you when they fail you.....be strong and be wiser...