Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Please read my story if you haven't before : http://www.dailystrength.org/people...
So yesterday it was officaly a month since my husband left I truly dont know how I feel about it, i still cry every night, but the crying spells have gotten shorter and shorter. As i have had the time to reflect on the things that have happened, everything just seems crazy to me. During the time that my husband and I were struggling, we had found out that My father in law had been cheating on my mother in law and he left her for another woman. Evry one was devastated, not once did my husband care to make his mother feel better. That right there was so weird to me.
What i dont understand is that,, it obviously hurt my husband what his mother was going through. I remember how he would speak about how his father was abusive, cheated on his mother more than 1 time, and would leave the house and not come back for months.
I remember earlier on in our relationship my husband would cry to me and told me how much pain that caused in his childhood.
Now I ask myself, he knows how painful it is...why would he do this to me? I dont understand what he is thinking.
I hate him I really do.
So yesterday it was officaly a month since my husband left I truly dont know how I feel about it, i still cry every night, but the crying spells have gotten shorter and shorter. As i have had the time to reflect on the things that have happened, everything just seems crazy to me. During the time that my husband and I were struggling, we had found out that My father in law had been cheating on my mother in law and he left her for another woman. Evry one was devastated, not once did my husband care to make his mother feel better. That right there was so weird to me.
What i dont understand is that,, it obviously hurt my husband what his mother was going through. I remember how he would speak about how his father was abusive, cheated on his mother more than 1 time, and would leave the house and not come back for months.
I remember earlier on in our relationship my husband would cry to me and told me how much pain that caused in his childhood.
Now I ask myself, he knows how painful it is...why would he do this to me? I dont understand what he is thinking.
I hate him I really do.
The pain . . . I know it well. The not understanding why . . . How could he do this . . . .
This is the damage cheating does. The cheater doesn't care about the spouse, because he is only thinking about himself.
It sounds like he grew up in a damaged family. How could that not have affected him? He didn't have an honest, decent, or emotionally strong father as a role model. His mother wasn't strong either or she would have divorced the father.
Your husband would make a terrible father with the way he is now. Be glad this guy is in your rear view mirror. He is the abuser. You need to see that.
These dirt bags can totally shatter our world, and walk away without
even a glance in our direction. It's horrible. But you can recover.
You are still so young. Take care of yourself. Invest in yourself. What isn't a blessing in life is a lesson. If you are not talking to a counselor, you should. You will be fine. It just takes time.
There are a lot of books and articles you can read to try to understand the mind of a cheater. Someone recently posted about chumplady.com. Problem is that your husband isn't just a guy who strayed, he has serious problems.
Good luck. Don't let this define you. You are not a victim.
The tough part may be that he will never admit that he is like his father. Cuz that would make too much sense. But it would also hit too close to home too. Because if he admitted that, he would really be able to see the damage he's done, in one hell of a close up and personal kinda way. Maybe too close.
Much love and support your way, L~
emailed you take care of him now!