When my wife found out for the second time (same behaviour as your husband) she knocked the door of my home office and she stood in front of me with two papers on her hand. One was for me to give her full custody of my children, the second one was for the divorce and waiving my home ownership rights. I ripped the papers but I knew right then that she meant business. Three things can happen here: he does not care about anything and will sign the papers.
Two he will rip the papers and scream and shout fight or 3 (like it happened to me) look very stupid, remorseful and listen to your demands. You are the victim and I would strongly suggest you set a one way communication with your demands. Either he leaves the OW for good or else.

I really had mixed feelings, emotions. My wife is by far a great woman' I messed up big time. I just thought is my woman and the well being of my children worthed a very strong sexual relationship with this woman that feeds my ego on a daily basis?. The answer is NO.

I can not tell you what you shoud do because you have to be honest with yourself and determine whether you will forgive or no. I wish you the best of lucks. Whatever decision you take it will be the correct one. Believe it or not the cheater has only one option either he leaves the OW or not. You have a wider spectrum of choices. If you act compassionate it will not work. Be firm. Good luck.

Making core changes for the rest of ones life is a difficult thing to do. It requires commitment to the task, even during the adjustment period when you long for the way things used to be, where you were comfortable.

One does not simply walk into Mordor half-hearted. But a lot of CSs as well as BSs do. What will it take for him to make the change within his heart and not just outer actions? That's the question we'd all like answered. Some get it and do what is needed, others tire of it and run. In this time of instant this and that, and plot conflicts are resolved in an hour on TV, we expect things like this to get fixed way too quick, and end up applying bandaids instead of major surgery.

I would suggest, since you didn't mention it, if it has been less than six months since you discovered the affair(s), you might want to give it more time. Perhaps if he read my short article as a starter, it might make him realize this isn't a simple fix and life can never be the same again if he wants to keep you and a healthy marriage:

http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/healing-infidelity-through-faith/news/view/4974162

As has been said on here many times before, however, you are the only one that can say when you are done. And when you are done, you probably won't have to ask yourself if you are. You'll know.

Do not leave your husband because you want to prove something to him or make him hurt. Like you said - there are children involved.
If you want to leave, you should leave because you feel the relationship can not be salvaged and it is not good for either of you to be together. It is also good to leave if your relationship is negatively affecting the children.
It is my personal belief that if the kids are living in a complicsted tense, difficult environment it is worse than having divorced parents.
I had many concerns about divorce and how it would affect my kids. It was difficult on my daughter, but not so much on my son. My exh and I worked together very hard to get over our emotional issues and to make this divorce as peaceful as possible for the kids with as little damage as possible.
It has been almost 4 years. The kids are doing excellent. It was really hard for the first year or two.
I feel I made the right decision to leave because I didn't want the kids to watch their monther staying in a loveless marriage and a dysfunctional relationship pattern.
I hope things get better for you, whatever happens!
Hugs

Ironicaries gave you ggod advice. When someone cheats it often takes them realizing they are about to lose everything before they decide to change. This goes for other things as well, such as alcoholism, gambling, etc. I think a lot of women are more concerned about all the other people in the equasion and we become enablers. The person with the problem needs to be put in a position where they make a definite choice. these little temporary changes do not mean resolution. Give him 2 choices: fix it or leave. You cannot make the choice for him, as much as you may try. Just make SURE you are prepared to follow through.

Thanks everyone for your honest opinions and advice. I will live as peaceful of an existence as possible until after the holidays (for the kids sake only). I will approach him after that and give him my demands, I cannot control what he will choose and I have to be ready for the worst. If he chooses to not seek therapy then he doesn't care enough about his family to fix his issues and I will take my children and leave. Every human being deserves honesty, respect, and fidelity.

Yes they do. My thought are with you. Keep us posted.