If she doesn't show remorse and has repeated three times you should look for a change in your life. Holding on to a painful relationship is not positive,.

I wonder if she is taking advantage of you and your contributions to the household. She appreciates the stability at home but wants to betray you for her own ego. She has learned that you will still stay with her even though her selfishness won't stop.

A separation, divorce, think of all your options and it is worth considering if you personally will have a higher quality of life without her in it. ,

Sorry to hear that, but you have to leave her and move on with your life. As a man you love your kids but you cant except another man fuck your wife. What next she bring some disease like HIV.. are you going to love your wife, in every relationship their a standard. have you talked with you wife in the past to discuss what changes you need to bring and she need to bring?.

She is a serial cheater. It is unlikely that she will change and it doesn't seem like she wants to anyways.

Every time you take her back without consequences it enables her further.

You are likely holding on to the relationship because of codependency issues. There must be a lot of fear of being alone or changing the dynamic of your routine and stable life.

Thank you all for your comments. I am considering separation or divorce. She said that she will try counseling by herself. Last time we tried MC counseling it didn't work.

She said that she has blamed me for being laid off. Also the last time we had sex a year ago it was painful and doesn't think she can do it again. And last time we kissed it was very uncomfortable.

I think divorce is.probably the best course. But with kids it's hard to think how.much it will hurt them.

Your kids will be better off in a stable home with you as a single parent than with her and the horrible example she is setting for them.

She has effectively ended your marriage, her choice and hers alone. Do not feel any guilt. She wants to be single, so let her.

My wife also cheated. I hate to think about a life without her. But, when I found out she said she wanted to try to see if we could recover. Since then I have "stumbled" on several occasions where she engaged in sexting and sending illicit images to men. I also confirmed that she was sexually active with at least one of the men she was in contact with. We had a blow up this morning and I have requested that if this is a behavior that she wants to continue that she leave and find somewhere else to practice her activities. The problem with us is we have a 10 year old son. And we live in a state that a woman has to commit murder not to get custody. I am concernedthat she will bring in men with our son present. As she already made that offer to one man when I was out of town. I wish I had answeres for you, but know that there are others out there that at least understand.

I hate to hear that happened to you and your support. My kids are 13 & 12. My wife says she has a therapist appointment on Tuesday and doesn't know why she keeps pushing me away.

All I can think about is not seeing my kids everyday of there is a divorce.

I’m dealing with a wife that had a emotional affair read the post don’t want to rehash. It’s hard it’s like ur trying to make her love u. She did it 3 times. U have to ask urself is it worth it. I know how I feel. It’s it over does she want me. When I found out about my wife and we decided to stay together, when we first started to have sex again I would ask why won’t u kiss me and she would say kissing is emotional.. it’s been 8 months and I’m still have trust and anxiety issues. My wife shows remorse but she doesn’t constantly reassure me. But I’m still here our kids r grown son a freshman in college daughter about to receive her masters.

Actions vs words. She says she is sorry but does not behave like she is sorry. Read my post "welcome to the newly betrayed" for some practical suggestions. Most cheaters don't really want to change. Ultimately they want to have their cake and eat it too, for as long as you'll put up with it. I'm sorry you're going through this. I wish you well.

Mneal - my wife had 3 affairs as well over a about a 5 year period. I am here to say that you and your relationship can recover from this if both parties are willing. However, without true remorse on your wife's part, there will be no taking of real responsibility by her for her actions. Sounds like she may be expressing regret, which is different. With kids being involved, you're in a tough spot. One of the best things you can do is to start working on repairing yourself, knowing you have no control over her choices or her efforts to change. I recommend you get yourself into a support group. Go to the "Beyond Affairs Network" to see if there is a group in your area. Other good websites are survivinginfidelity.com & beyondaffairs.com Each have tons of good stuff. You can recover from this. Get yourself in a better place, and then you are better equipped to make decisions about what you want in your future. Good luck to you.

We had a long discussion last night. She does have remorse. She said that she is carrying around so much guilt about what the affairs she doesn't know how to handle it. She said that the state of the marriage with the affairs is her fault and she didn't respect me or the marriage at the time. She said that she doesn't deserve to be with me and that I deserve someone better. She is going to go see a therapist on Tuesday.

She sounds like she is starting the say the right things, but only you can tell if she is being sincere and genuine. If she is being honest, then she will have no problem with transparency because she'll understand that is what you and your relationship need. Ask for account logins, passwords, etc and don't be afraid to check devices whenever you feel like you need to verify she is not slipping. She will understand she needs to sacrifice her privacy in order to demonstrate to you that she is making changes. Any push back should be seen as a red flag, in that she has truly hasn't "gotten it" yet. Encourage her to see the therapist on an ongoing basis, and do not let that stop you from working on yourself. In situations like this, the hurt, humiliation, embarrassment and shame can consume us as well, especially when the BS tries to blame us for their decision to cheat. Problems in a marriage are owned 50/50 by each party, but the decision to cheat is 100% theirs, regardless of how they try to spin the blame. Find something constructive and positive to devote some time to. As you rebuild your self esteem, you'll realize you have worth, and you'll be OK no matter what happens in your relationship. Also - if you don't decide to join a BAN support group, find someone else to talk to if you haven't already. Getting feelings out can go a long way. Stats indicate that up to 60% of married folks will be involved in an affair, and you'd be surprised how many people have been in the same boat.

Some people, men and women, are sometimes so broken morally and emotionally that they can't sustain change or a healthy perspective on life.

It's not easy to truly change in a drastic way.

Faithful marriage is a high ideal and simply most people simply are not good marriage material.

It doesn't come down to those who cheat and those who do not, but rather those who are able to prioritize someone else over themselves. Given that selflessness is hard to come by and severe selfishness is a common trait we can't be all that surprised in the statistics we see about affairs and divorce.

so when she fucks other men, is it painful for her?

think that through, and leave that loose lipped lying shitbag