You have to ask yourself, "can I forgive" AND "can I forget"? Can you afford to 100% forget?

Only time will tell

Your right I had answer that I am doing okay is just days where am not having it. I know it takes a lot of courage

It’s on the days where imagines of the infidelity come back to me, I wonder and ask myself these questions. It’s only been 4 months for me and today I remember it took place just before Christmas. It cut me deep all over again. It’s a long process.

As someone who has not been true with my loved ones, I can say that yes, they can be sorry, and no, that doesn’t mean that their feelings for you ever faded. However, it does mean that there is something that they weren’t expressing (or that wasn’t being heard - though that would be no excuse) that needs to be shared and understood. It also means that they’ve broken your trust, which you should not take lightly. I have to agree with the prior posts, that regardless of what your loved one feels, you need to determine what you need to heal, and how can best be fulfilled in life. All the best.

Thank you so so much for your words for everyone words I will take each one in mind

It is a big process caitB a big one to process and swallow and feel

Idk how to answer these questions. This is why I’ve joined this group. I am having a VERY hard time trusting and moving on. The other woman is someone my husband works with which is a constant reminder. Help’

I would say 1. do they feel real remorse? 2. Are they willing to cut all communication? Immediatly) 3. Are they showing you with their actions they want to heal the relationship. Listen to their wants and needs and be a safe place for them.

I am wondering the same. I want to forgive, but I'm don't think you can forget really. You can't forget what got you to that place because it will take work to fix and improve those things if you both think and feel it is worth it. Everyone is telling me to think about what you needed first, and it's hard, but they are right. You can't be happy because of someone, happiness needs to be because of you first. Be happy and confident with yourself

We are over ten years post DDAY. My husband and I are doing great. Have I forgiven him? Yes. Absolutely, yes. Have I forgotten? Maybe someday when senility/Alzheimers takes me, sure. Otherwise, no.

Here's the key: Forgiveness has to be for YOU, not for the unfaithful spouse. Whether you stay together or not, forgiveness will help you to heal and move on with your own pursuit of happiness. Forgiveness isn't about saying, "Hey, it's cool you betrayed me," it's about letting go of the anger, resentment, pain, and misery. It will never be "okay" that someone you trusted betrayed you, but YOU will be okay again.

I've never trusted my boyfriend really and I just found found out he's been seeing someone he supposedly grew up with. His family knows who she is but he says they don't know about it. But one person does know but I don't know who that person is. I asked what she looks like and why but he won't tell me.

Allora is 100% correct! It takes about 2 years. You have to be willing not to throw it in their face when they are trying. You have to be willing to work on yourself as well as the relationship.
I let my relationship slip. He knows what he did and is sorry every day. Our relationship is so much better. I didn’t think it was possible. DDAY 10/2014 … I cannot believe it’s been that long. I have days.. but they are few and very far in between.